Stop with “I Like..”..Start with “I Hate..”

Having a series of fluctuating emotions recently..I suddenly had enough of “I like..”.. I have a lot of “I hate..” right this moment. Maybe I’m just having a bad day..worse..a terrible-day. Blame it on my PMS.. I’m one angry chick and I couldn’t figure out why am I so fcuked-up today. Tried to kept myself busy by arranging photos I’ve developed and printed (been lying there for several days..had no time to properly get them organized)  ~ I need to get myself a new photo-alb though. I’ve finally got the guts to burn and throw away the most “valued” (now it’s more like bullshit) photos I’ve been keeping for the last 4 years. Looking at it makes me want to vommit blood. I hate.

Maybe I need some anger management courses. Usually those dainty and lovable chicks will  say something like ” I like..this. I Like…that”. So mua, the furious and infuriated chick will have a list of  “I hate(s)…”

I, Eleanor…

1. Hate it when I really like somebody but that somebody keeps mentioning about their past relationship..even after I repetitively told that somebody that I’m NOT INTERESTED to know. Maybe ’sharing is caring’? But for this case, I get annoyed. Really really annoyed. Get it??
2. Hate it when some people tend to judge you when they don’t even know you. Stupid.
3. Hate it when you try really hard to care for the feelings of others but they totally ignore how you feel. Selfish bastards *hiccup*.
4. Hate being messy.
5. Hate it when some people takes sarcasm to a stupid-ignorant level. Ass.
6. Hate it when I discovered that I ran out of toilet rolls. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
7. Hate it when I’m stuck in traffic and the driver in the car just beside me starts waving and flirting. Perverts.
8. Hate it when I thought I’ve snapped a superb-picture but later discovered the camera is set to video mode.
9. Hate it when you’re two sentences away from finishing up your report and suddenly the computer shuts down. You haven’t saved a thing. Fcukkkk!!!

list will be updated.

Above all those hates…I am actually liking something. Someone.

and I pissed him off as well…”We don’t want anyone or anything ending up in flames..so just let it go.”

Yes. Let it go Eleanor. Let it fcukin go.

Thanks …Cupid.

~ I cried with jealousy. lmao. ~

I was supposed to join Girl and the rest of my hot-buds (Corn, Inden, Derrick, Ben & Yeye) for an outdoor session at Girl’s house in Telipok..but but but something came up..my uncle called to inform that Popo wants us all back in Tamparuli  for an early Chapgohmei family gathering lunch (Feb 8). I was a bit dissapointed though as I was looking forward to join my buddies that day but decided that Popo might not be happy if we didn’t go. Texted Girl to inform “Saya cancialll..tidak dapat datang oh” .I sighed and sighed and sighed. but owh well..there’s always next time.

Mumy was called to do OT and brother already had plans to go somewhere else. So I drove back to Tamparuli with dad sitting at the passenger seat halfway asleep. He woke up midway and started to give me few tips on driving. I was going >90km/ph and dady was repetitively asking me to slow down. There were very few cars on the road..the reason why I stepped on the accelerator a bit more…but slowed down as requested. Dad & I reached around 12pm and stayed on until 5pm. There were a lot of people, and each and everyone of them is my relative (according to infos by aunties and uncles ~ they were telling me how all of us were somehow connected, but being the usual me.. I don’t really remember how ..weak memory, I admit).. 60% of them are those I’m not familiar with; it’s like passing by a stranger during my Gaya Street walk on an early Sunday morning.

I had few drinks and I was sweating like no one’s business. I wasn’t drunk I guess but was damn sleepy. Went up to my cousin’s room to have a rest while texting that somebody.. Owh..I am so going to cut down on my beer intake.

~ Thanks Cupid. I’m gay. (as in happy.)~

Some things just happened..when you least expect it to take place… then it all comes in gradually..the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach, a sudden-beaming face and the irrepressible heartbeats, but minus the sweating palms. It felt good. It felt nice. It felt super-fine. But but but..it seems too good to be true. Everything seems to go so fine, everything falls in place and the future seem so certain. It was all perfectly-secured.

The past was left unrevealed tho. FYI, I don’t even have the slightest intention to know about your past~  I never knew about it before, so why should I fuckin care about it now. It doesn’t make any difference ~ It would just hurt my self-esteem (which I have very little of when it comes to this kind of issues). Tend to compare myself with another, trying to live up to whatever standards that I am not supposed to care about just to make sure everything goes on smoothly..obviously being a fake somebody.

When sentiments and sensations slowly figures out that fragile space it needs to fill,  suspicions and uncertainties kicks in. It’s like having an angel on your right and a devil on your left shoulders – being constant and trustworthy is like impossible..but possible at the same time.

So I stopped at the highway. Specifically..We stopped. and I thanked Cupid. For all the right and wrong reasons.

Suka nya Hati ku ini ~ Lalala.

Date: 1st February 2009, Sunday (It’s February already.. January passed by so fast…)

Objective: Invited by Girl to a small BBQ gathering with the SHELL family.

Venue: Tanjung Lipas.. eh silap.. Tanjung Lipat, Likas. (Try saying “Tanjung Lipat Likas” laju2..Sounds like Tanjung Lipas..kan kan?? Maybe I’m just exxagerating..lol). FYI, It was my first time there since they opened the place to the public. I had some negative impression towards the place before coming there personally..i.e. ugly fugly, a lot of illegal immigrants & dirrrty. Honestly… I admit that.. I was wrong.. it was not that bad after all. It was a lil’ dirty on some part of the beach but maybe those rubbish drifted all the way from Pulau Gaya. The public toilets were well-maintained… supposedly to remain so as they are charging RM30 cents for each entry (same charges as the washrooms you go in at 1Borneo..besides the RM1 VIP toilets of course.Free for Platinums.)

No.of Peeps : Around 20 I guess ~ Including the kids. Wasn’t really counting. The only people I know was Girl & her boyfie Mark Dillon Garcia & Jeremy C. The rest were SHELL staffs who either came with their family, girlfriends or friends. Everyone was friendly and it gave you the feeling of being part of the ‘family’ too and not out of place. Hahaha. So..Hopefully someday they’ll recruit me into SHELL! (angan-angan nih)

Other happenings:

• The BBQ was more like a big ‘pembakaran terbuka‘ as the fire were going out of control! lol.
  
• I had few verbal-arguments with Harry (one of the SHELL staff) on how we should light up the fire, how to barbeque correctly etc (saya eksyen jah kunun2 tau padahal ndak mau kalah jah tu.lmao).. But both ended laughing like krazi.
  
• Calling Girl’s boyfriend ‘dear’ made her angry! Sikit dia mau tabak sy guna pisau. Tiba tiba dia sakit jiwa. Luckily I know some Kungfu-ing. Wachaaa! My advice: If you still want to live a bit longer, jangan cuba-cuba panggil boifren orang “dear”, especially boifren si Veralyn Marcie. It’s like digging your own grave.
  
• Chicken Wings & Sausages which looked like they were imported from Nigeria / Zimbabwe (no offence to both countries though).
  
• It was raining cats and dogs for a lil’ while so everyone stayed under shelter. I saw Girl’s thick Chinese Horoscopes in her bag, took it out (with permission) and started to flip through the pages trying to find The Ox! Jeremy rampas the book and started to cari Pork… Ok basically we now know what’s his year.
  
• Mark smiled a lot.  ‘dearrrr’… ehh..oopss.. Sorry! (immediately berlari menyelamatkan diri)
• I had FUN. I laughed and talked a lot (which both are obviously my greatest-passion in life). Hehe. Thanks Girl for the invite!

(Mua, Girl & her BF ~ Mark)

(Ini Tauke Ayam & Sosej PanggangYang Kureng Berjaya .LOL.)

(The ermm.. err.. Ayams yang hangus terbakars.)

P/S: Another BBQ coming up next week?

Date: 31^st January 2009, Saturday. (The last day of January 2009)

Right after a boring day at work, a few of us went straight to Iris’s house for lunch at Taman Permata. I was already feeling hungry while on my way to her house… We then had a superb lunch and I ate like a pig (still had my manners tho)! The great thing was when Iris took out bottles of Heineken right after we finished. Lol. She magically knew I need beers (just for the record, I ended finishing two small bottles) to compliment the terrific lunch. Having beers in a hot Saturday afternoon screams.. “Ada Kickk!!”. Haha. Then she slowly took out few glasses filled with sweet flavored jellies (couldn’t remember whether it was mango or pineapple, grape or raspberry?) and 3 containers of ice-cream! I had my purple coloured jelly mixed with Paddle-Pop ice cream and poured some fruit cocktails on top. Ta-daaa! It was fab-fab-fabulousity!!

P/s: Iris’s last day at work was on the 30th. We actually bought her a diamond & pearl necklace as her farewell gift.

Friday ~ ended with a flame & Saturday ~ ended with a headache.

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true than be selfish and worry about my liver. (~Jack Handey~)

“Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.” (~Author Unknown~)

♣ THE ABOVE RANDOM QUOTES MADE ME FEEL A LOT BETTER. LMAO! ♣

Friday January 24th.

I took two days off from work and with such rare opportunity of getting off-days on Saturdays especially..

…I start off my day by testing the webcam bought by my bro some time back. Logged in to my YM and invited certain people to view my webcam and see if it’s really working.  So my first victim was Roy in Dublin. He accepted and he switched on his WC too. Sweet of him to carry his laptop out to the balcony and showed me the city of Dublin – it felt like I was watching a live telecast.. and the temperature was 1°celcius at that point of time (based on Roy’s Iphone info). We chatted until I saw him fell asleep. LOL. Pity him but sweet though. Then I invited Corn who was at her office, to view the WC too. She accepted and bombarded me with ‘kitaiis’ and ‘kimakks’ when she saw me having several puffs while munching on Mandarin oranges. Lmao. She desperately needed a puff but was stuck at her desk for the whole day.. so basically I was pissing her off  (read:making her life miserable). Hahahahaha.  We chatted for a while and planned to go out for drinks later that night (and that’s a whole different story – info shall be spilled in suceeding paragraph). Invited Fir and Inden too view also but didn’t chat for long. Informed Inden about the plan but she later texted me saying she won’t be able to go out. Basically I spent my whole Friday going online ~ surfing, updating ALF and burning a whole lotta CDs.  and owh peeps, go to http://www.zamzar.com if you want to convert Youtube files to MP3s or other forms. Fast and easy bahh.

off to Rumba on Friday night..

Eventually Corn & I are the only two who went out for the usual session. Inden & Girl couldn’t make it and it was supposed to be a girl’s night out. *sigh*. The initial plan was to go for a laid-back session at Cock & Bull but was a bit dissapointed when told by Ilham that the place was not open for public that particular night. They’ve been booked for a private function I guess. We didn’t had a Plan B on where else to go except Rumba. So we walked to Le-Meridien and left Corn’s 4109 at the Waterfront parking lot. We were greeted by  Mr.Manager a.k.a Mr. Vernon and another two friendly bouncers at the entrance ~ (it felt like going for a Xmas Open House at the KDCA hall where you met someone at the entrance hall, you say “Hi” to them and eventually shook hands before you go in. LOL). I like it that way tho. It felt like ‘repo-building’. *winkwink*

1. We started off at 10.30pm with Colada’s, had a mixture of Rum & Chocolate (I have no idea the name of that particular cocktail.. (I never had one before but Corn told me it tasted like Peach Tempation she had a few weeks back) as our 2nd & 3rd drink (courtesy of Bartender and Mr. Vernon) and finished off with the ever-blue Flaming Lamborghini around 2.30am. The FL had a very strong taste , it felt like I burned my tongue and it was numbed for 2minutes.. But heck..it was all good!
2. It was Tattoo Freak Night at Rumba and there were a lot of cool dudes and smokin’ chicks with bad-ass tattoos. A guy in his dreadlocks (which we tried to get a hold of his dreads the entire night) and a girl in a short up-do, won a bottle of wine for having the most ‘wicked’ tattoos. They were quite a number of contestants competing for the title “Best Tattoo” and all of them had quite good ones but the ones who won really deserve them.
3. I was hating this guy who was screaming a lot of “Boos” when some contestants paraded their tattoos.. I was like “Ouh puh-lease you ass..you don’t even dare to have one..grow up you ASS!”. How I wish the bouncers could tell him to BEHAVE. Lmao. It must been very embarrasing for some of the girls to have people ‘booing’ at them for no apparent reasons. Be a good sport lahh weii…you ASS!
4. Pictures could be viewed at Cornelia’s Blogpage. As you can see..The amount of face expression I can make is so over-whelming. Pictures candidly taken by Mr. Vernon..Luckily he managed to snapped all of these since the camera had very weak batteries.

Saturday January 25th.

This was a night that I went flat at Edgar’s. Yes. I vommitted. and yes. it was certainly not the best-sight ever. CASE-CLOSED. Inden went flat too but she made it to the carpark…and I failed. Miserably.

But let me do a gratitude speech here..

“I would like to thank my ever-supportive buddies Cornelia & Derrick (for taking the time and effort to drive me back to my house ~ with Cornelia driving my car and Derrick following from behind using Corn’s car. They had to drive all the way back to Jesselton P. to get Derrick’s car. Waste of fuel eh? My biggest appreaciation goes to Velarry! Carrying me back to the parking lot was a huge gesture! I was too sleepy. Still had my senses..I did not faint but lost the energy to walk;  fully drained-out! Sorry lah fren for being “punyaaaaa berrratttt!!”…Hahaha. Let me find a time where I can treat all of you for dinner!“

P/s: Luckily Corn went home right after  giving my car-keys to my brother. My brother already started to bising bising inside the car and my mum was not asleep yet.. Corn nearly had a ’soal-siasat’ from my my mum. Who wouldn’t?? I felt guilty too.  I know it made mum a bit upset that night. Luckily my dad haven’t reach home. If not..Mataiiii! For those who have good connections with my parents and is reading this particular entry.. I need a big favour “Shhuusshhh ok?” Lol.

What took place while I got disconnected?

I had few problems with my Internet connection at home for the past one week. I don’t really have time to access the Internet that much while at work, except for the occasional YM sessions with few buddies. It actually became a daily routine for me to go online at night, at home, after coming out from the showers and having dinner. I’m obsessed with reading news, netsurfing while updating anarchylikeflower (ALF) and Facebook-ing (a major influence from my buddies (correction: my hot buddies) as they’ll upload most of our photos there ~ and the kick of commenting those pictures has been quite addictive I must say). Downloading software and songs is also an obligation whenever I go online.

Besides my 8 to 5 job and the late night partying, my life basically revolves around the Net. Err… pathetic kah tu ah? Lmao. So… not being able to go online for a week was a disaster ~ I was bored to death (read: Bored to deathhhh!!!! *with exclamation marks you see*)

I extremely hate it when I eventually reached the stage of ultimate boredom…my mind will start to wonder around and eventually I’ll come to that point when that thought of him keeps playing in my head (read: suddenly missing him like sial ~ I should type that in capital letters.. SIAL!) which was exactly what I wanted to avoid! Concentrating on FB-ing, clearing up my mails and updating ALF, will help to keep my mind busy so I won’t be thinking of him that much. I even dialed his number a couple of times but cancelled the call like 1 second after dialing. Yes. Me..Idiotic (does this make me sound very vulnerable and naïve? Boohoo). I even drafted text messages which I really, really wanted to send out to him (which includes a lot of cursing, swearing and my most overused word “WHY??”) but at last, I deleted the drafts as I know very well that it would not make any difference (I would intentionally press the ‘send’ button most of the time as I know very well I’ve run out of credit and the messages won’t go thru. Officially lame). Why exactly did I want to send out those text messages? Hoping we could get back together? Ouh no… I just want him to feel bad. Uttered this to one of my closest friend after post break-up ~ “I think I’m over him already. Didn’t knew it was this fast?”. Demmit. I was wrong. Lol. Silly eh…damn silly. Disconnected from the Net meant I have time to read my favourite Lydia Teh’s “Honk If You’re a Malaysian” book all over again ~ which never failed to put that smile on my face .. as well as switching off all nonsense thoughts.

I don’t blame it entirely on him but hey, please for once I hope he would accept the fact that he didn’t even care as much as I did. I’m not comparing who puts in more effort or whatsoever but I just want him to understand such a simple matter of ‘effort’. I do not want my life to entirely collapse for him, who unfortunately did not even have the slightest intention to make this work…so letting him go is most probably the greatest thing I ever did. Wondering whether I should give myself a pat in the back? I don’t think I want to ever be in a relationship this long ever again. Heartaches are a lot more bearable if the ‘love’ only comes for a short duration of time… I guess. Told myself repeatedly that getting over this kind of stuff might not be easy but I’m going to be just allright. The whole thing of dialing and drafting was part of the letting-go-process.(eee… ayat2 jiwang ohh kan. blek!)
I just couldn’t figure it out why I still need to whine about this not-so-important-lovey-dovey-story of mine until this particular day. The only explanation: Posibbly because I’m plain boring. I should have that label stuck on my forehead `~ BORING. Should add another word in front of ‘boring’… but what?…Owh I know.. Pathetically Boring!

January 17th (A Normal Friday night)

I went out for a movie (Title: Bedtime Stories/BS) with ‘the humble hotties’ (as described by Girl. Hip eh.) : Corn & Derrick, Girl, Sharon & her pretty 6 year old niece, Ben, Bino & his girlfriend. I was yay-ing to myself as all of us had a very normal outing that night – no consumption of intoxicating drinks (Hahaha. I made our night sessions sound so bad don’t I?? lol), no earsplitting music & no impersonation of MJ or JT moves. The initial plan was to meet up at 1Borneo Movie Theatre at 9pm so we can catch the next show at 9.15pm…but since most of us reached around 9.45pm, there was a changed of plan ~ We decided to go for the 11.30pm show (late night movie sudah ni). We then spent another one and a half hour wandering around 1B trying out quirky nerdy frames at one of the optical shop.

Honestly, I am no movie buff. I can count how many times I have been to the movies – possibly 5 movies in the last 5 years (basically 1 movie in 1 year). However, I’m slowly getting this cool movie-theatre-addiction. Maybe I got infected by Inden who can actually do a movie-marathon by herself (June babies rock bai tu!). I was thinking ‘shiok juga ni tau’ and wondered why I never develop the addictions a bit earlier? I’m now open for movie-invitations peeps. Movie ended around 2pm and we wanted to go for some yam-cha-ing. Drove around Alam Mesra but most of the shops there are closed. So our last resort was to go have some McDs at Shell (the nearest place which is opened 24hours bah) and this time we have Zack a.k.a Onot joining us. He just came back from Futsal and looked a bit tired but cool enough to join us that late. We seem to have a lot of stories to talk and laugh about (weird because of the fact that do we ‘meet’ each other via YM-ing, FB-ing, texting & calls like every day of the week)! Possibly because everyone (especially the grrrls) is so damn talkative and sometimes it seems like each of us ‘berebut mau bercerita’. Lol. I enjoyed. The only picture I have from the outing is the one below posing with Girl..taken with my 1.3MP cell. Hahaha.

It has also been a very hectic week at work. Been very busy with operational things, handling talks (am not giving the talk tho, the doctors are ~ am just doing my lame PR for those events) and preparing my MC Script for yet another big event at my workplace (which already happened on the 19th by the way).

January 19th (A Bewildered Monday)

Though preparations are made in less than a week, the event turned out to be pretty ok without that much disruption. The most talked about phenomenon was when the MC (which was obviously me…uwhhh how I wish it was somebody else!) unintentionally did a very “funny” thing! I fell down the stage! For the record, I fell two times! So it was double super-fuckin’ embarrassment!

Situation 1: Being the MC I had to go up and down the stage quite frequently…and there are times where I need to stand at one corner of the stage to give way for the Doa Recital by one of my colleague and also for VIPs to use the rostrum in delivering their speech. My first fall was right after the Doa Recital by Rosdi… as soon as the doa ended with “Aminnnn”.. I, Eleanor Richard who was standing just right behind Rosdi was trying to adjust my position…daintily taking few steps backwards…and suddenly the very silent moment was awaken by a very shocking sound “krashhhhhhh!!!”. This was exactly how it sounded when I fell sideways to the window blinds just next to the stage! It was a super-fuckin embarrassing moment and my stomach was in so much pain trying to refrained myself from bursting out in laughter in front of more than a hundred people and some big shots. Right after the fall, I actually had the courtesy to look at the crowd, gave a big smile and winked to my colleagues (but I did not have the guts to look at the VIPs tho.. krazi..) who are obviously covering their mouths to avoid bursting out in laughter! Who wouldn’t??!! I nearly lost my composure but managed to collect whatever is left of my…. dignity? Cilakak! Hahahaha. And so I thought, what’s the worse that can happen?? Falling the second time? Nahhh…Impossible because I am now extra extra extra careful.. right? No. lol! Proceed to Situation 2 please peeps.

Situation 2: The stage is made by combining several 1.5’ x 3’ boxes together, leaving small gaps between these boxes. As soon as our big shot finished her slide presentation and speech, I walked up the stage again to take over the mic and while walking back to the rostrum…my 2 ½ inch heels got stuck at one of the small stage gaps and I nearly fell down again. This time I laughed, swaying my head from side to side showing my bewilderment!! But continued my walk to the rostrum…Nodded at the crowd and continued with my MC-ing… pretending very, very hard like nothing ever happened! I felt like covering my face with a paper bag and have them on for the rest of the year. What a wonderful beginning to a brand new year I must say! Rotfl!

So there you go. My advice: Don’t wear skinny heels (even if you look so seductive with one) when you know the stage is going to be in such condition and be very, very careful with your steps… both front and back. I had a post mortem meeting yesterday with our GM and all Head of Services (20th January 09) and one of the highlight of the meeting was …”Incident of the Year – Eleanor falling down the stage”. Cilakak!! Hahahaha! A very krazi day. I couldn’t upload photos of the event for some reasons. Hehe.

(a last taken after the event ended)

January 21 (A typical Wednesday)

I stepped out of the office, ready to go home at about 6.00pm. On my way to pick up my mum, I was amazed at how grey and orange the sky was (I am now fond of anything in grey and / or orange!). I should have brought my camera along. The colors’ blended so well, I was awe-struck. It made that particular moment looked so gloomy but yet so stunning – the perfect combination! and definitely made me feel all gushy inside (I’ve been so in tact with my emotional side lately and come to think of it, it’s quite nauseating. Aiyaa, what a weak chick have I become?).…

*slapping myself twice, intentionally.. and hearing voices in my head ‘wake up you ass.. wake up!!”..*

“Low Disk Space”

I’m so bored. I was clearing up all these junks I have inside my notebook and updated my anti-virus software. Seems like my harddrive is almost full with music files, pictures, videos which I’ve uploaded joyfully for the past two months  – I was not even bothered to check how much free space I have available.. I was shocked when Windows told me “Low Disk Space in Drive C”. Huh? I uploaded that much in 1 month? I’ve already cleared up most of my files when I had a major computer breakdown not too long ago ~ which gave me a major panic attack as well.  I’ll most probably suffer a mild heart attack if my computer crashes again. While I was busy deleting some ‘lauyah’ photos, I came across one of the very first shot I took when I just bought D60 ~ My lovely teddy a.k.a tubby on top of my dressing table.

Such a tiring-day. but fun alltogether.

I woke up in my jeans and was still wearing my watch. I couldn’t remembered how I reached home. I drove but I didn’t remembered I drove myself back. Weird. Woke up at 11.30pm and casually switched on my notebook and logged-in to FB and wordpress. Halfway surfing, I stripped and went to the showers and had lunch.Obviously I skipped breakfast.

Girl uploaded the following pic in her blog and I was somehow touched ~ it reminds me that nothing beats a good-friendship. Nothing.. I repeat. The fact that my face was ‘marketed’ there made everything felt good also. So a million kisses and hugs for my lovely and krazii Girl. I wanna do something like this also and upload it in my FB and blog. But give me sometime hor.. (semua pun mau ikut2 kan saya ni Girl ~like yesterday kamu mau jalan pun sy mau ikut,you took pictures of Corn limpang2  pun sy mau ikut. LOL. I need to “Get a Life”. LOL! I kidddd!)

Honestly, I am very bad at keeping contacts.  I’m very grateful to have friends that actually took the trouble to text and call me up (as I would most probably be not replying the SMS-es; either be running out of credit (and I could go with no phone-creds for days! Impressive huh!) or was too busy with work/personal related matters. Maybe I have bad time management. Maybe I just have too much excuses. (I’ll try to ‘improve’ ok peeps. ). I’ve said to Inden before “I might not be replying bah tu, tapi I read juga your SMS-es. Soory Hun.  Hahaha. then Inden will bombard me back with “Jadiii?? Apa lah tu kunun?? “. I was just telling the truth bah Den.LMFAO!)

Above (L-R): Cornelia a.k.a Cornn, Veralyn a.k.a Girl, Eleanor a.k.a Len

(an yeah Roy, I have a pair of boolat eyes. LOL)

Goshh..Yesterday was a super-tiring day. I woke up around 6.15am as I had a breakfast-date at 7am with Girl, Inden & Corn. We had breakfast in a chinese shop in front of All Saints. We all had mee soup and I guess Corn did took a picture of it. LOL. I was running late for work and only reached my office at 8.30am (I was supposed to be in by 8am peeps but hey, this rarely happen. I’m actually very punctual. Teeheeee). It was Saturday and imagined the level of lazyness I had to go through in waking up on a Saturday morning for work? It was devastating. We did an Antenatal Class at the Hospital yesterday and I had to do OT until 5pm. I was so fuckin tired but as soon as I reach home around 5.20pm…

…I rested for about half an hour (which is obviously not enough) and had to get up and get ready for a BBQ Farewell Party for Iris and Jay who tendered their resignation last December. Iris will be leaving for another better offer and Jay actually is going to become a teacher. I’m quite upset that they will be leaving since I usually go up to Iris & Jay for advice ~ Both work and personal related. They treat me like a friend and a lil’ sister.  I’m a crybaby so I did cry when I was informed both of them are leaving. They mentioned it before but never did I expect it would be out of a sudden. The only thing I could do was sighing.

The party was organized by my colleagues at our office compound. (FYI ,my office is located right beside the main building – the Hospital, and it’s actually a terrace house modified into an office) .   I reached there at 7pm. and stayed on until 9.30pm before I directly head towards Inden’s house ~ we decided to car-pool to Le-Meridien.

Below are pictures during the BBQ session.

(I’m halfway asleep?LMFAO!)

… Inden offered to do the driving which I clearly accepted without hesitation. We fetched Corn at her house and fetched Inden’s friend at Kingfisher. We reached Rumba around 12am and I actually took a 2 minute nap inside the car. I was at the backseat with corn and we kept quiet for some time (pretending not to be there since we wanted to give Inden adn her friend Zack, some ‘quality’ time together. (Inden: Jangan marah ah if we were behaving badly. We’re actually good kids.  Raised very well. ). So me and Corn was doing some hand and face signalling as to avoid talking and laughing too loud. We look silly actually and I just realized I have some sort of -memory-lapse when it comes to remembering back what others told me before. Maybe I was just too tired to even think last night.

Inden texted me around 5.15pm, inviting for another party session at Le-Meridien – Rumba. The fact that the band ‘Switch Groove’ is going to Hard Rock Cafe KL in another two weeks made all of us a bit on the sappy-side. It’s one of the best band in KK (well, I believe so) and boy, we are sure gonna miss them. We decided to party a lot in Rumba before the band flys. (*sobs*)

So there were of 9 us: Mua, Corn, Inden, Girl,Sing Yee (and her heels were so fuckin’ nice – I should have taken a photo of it! Urghh.. I was too tired to think at that point), Ben, Bino, Derrick, Velarry & Zack.

Some of us knew each other from FB, friends and cousins of Girl’s, friend’s of Inden, which some of them are our friends too! Summary: All of us became friends in the end as each and everyone were such good sports! (Mcm 10 tahun sudah kenal bahh).

Velarry did his dance moves, which I was actually amazed at! He didn’t run out of moves! I was busy asking him to choreographed the next move and he told me he learned it from MTV (I guess he was joking? Coz I’m in love with MTV too but never can I follow those steps. Maybe you just need to born with this sort of talent. Wayyy wicked!). Corn, you remembered our conversation? Hehehe. Derrick joined us for some of the moves and we became back-up dancers for Velarry. It was fun! Even if most of our moves were totally out! buy Yay! Shiok!

Mua & Bino did our ‘hands up in the air’ thing and Bino was a bit energetic last night. I surrendered quite early. My reason: TIRED lah bro!. He was sweet and kept asking “Uii Len, marii bahhh!!!”. I was laughing all the way! We also sang together with Zack to My Chemical Romance ‘I don’t Love You’! We were all singing on top of our lungs! Greaatttt! and kraziiiiii!

Danced to Lady Gaga’s song which was Corn’s Favourite song and danced with her like crazyy.The same with Inden & Girl. There’s one time Girl was head-banging to a song! I couldn’t remember what’s the name of the song though but I was also awesomely amazed. Should have captured that on camera but failed. Urghh. Again. How I wish my eyes have an inbuilt camera ~ a blink of an eye will help me to capture the moment of ‘fame’ . I hope Inden was having fun last night.. u did bah kan? I get very worried if anyone wasn’t having fun!Hehehe.

Sing Yee came a bit late and she was so into Jo of Switch Groove! She had killer heels. She bought them in United States. Could I fly there and get one for myself? Demmit.

Ben the tall guy remained the steady and cool one. I was actually teasing him a bit and he just smiled! Hahaha. I’m just so bad.

We went back around 3am and all is well.

It will be Velarry’s Birthday Party next week but not sure if I’m able to make it. I have a big function as an MC on the 19th of January. We’ll  see.

P/s: They played Neo’s “Miss Independent” again. My ex did tell me before that he really like this song.. but he was dedicating this song to another girl at that time. *sigh*. So even the catchy tune made me all messed up that night. Buduhhhh!

I’m doing ok guys. Really I am.

The fact that my day-life is so fuckin’ extremely lame (~ but I still like my job though)…my posts actually revolves around how I spent time around with my buddies at night (which most of them I knew for more than 10 years and these are buddies who stand by you when you’re suspended and kicked out of school, listening and gossiping about your puppy loves & all sorts of freaky things which makes you love them even more) and newly met ones which are friends or cousins of our friends or cousins (complicated networking? Nahh ..easy..and its called ‘a whole lotta networking activity’).

So when I came out with posts of my never-ending partying session and other misbehaving actions (captured in digital form. LOL) , it created a buzz. A buzz where friends back in the west will come up with questions regarding my changes? Was it because I broke-up with him? Was I very upset? Was I having an eating-disorder etc. You won’t believe the questions I get. I kept on sighing but I do understand that maybe they cared. Good. I like beinh taken cared of.

Most of my friends there will always ask me why I’ve changed and became a lot more ‘undomesticated’ here in KK. I’m always the good girl you knew (I’m just letting my hair down a bit more). Nothing much has changed, accept for my fluctuating weight and the fact that I gained a lot more ‘freedom’ here (was a bit ‘restricted’ back there). The environment and social surroundings made me kept everything low but it kept me sane (thank God) and kept me focused on my studies ~ getting good grades is very important ya know. The fact that I was spending a lot of time with my ex, contributed to less time spent with my friends ~ and my movement was very much guarded at that point of time. I was always with him and everything orbitted around him. I never regretted doing so but I should have been spending more time with my friends to get to know them better ~  I missed that chance but hopefully I’ll be able to make up for it in future.

I’m not trying to explain myself but I just want you to know that I’m doing fine. I really am guys. Thanks peeps!

and what is a post without the photos?? Shots by our wonderful dolly – Girllyen, on 3rd January 2009. I only managed to post just one shot. I still need to upload a few more later (stolen from her Facebook. LOL).

(I was a bit ‘miring2′ already this… and it was all Coke! LOL)

I’m having a terrible crush. (I’m making this a public thing.LOL)

The title said it all. Yes, I’m having a big crush on someone and no, it’s not at all the best feeling I’m having right now. I am a sucker for good conversations and I rarely find someone who can fascinate me with words. Even my ex (which claimed to be my other half for such a long time..demmit) is way out of the league. No, not as in being a sweet talker but holding a decent conversation plus a good sense of humour (as in me getting his owh-so-funny jokes) can pull me right through that ‘crush’ zone. I had a lot of crushes but this one seems so worth-it to pursue but heck, should I even tell that I have a crush on him? What would happen if he didn’t give me any response? I’ll be too embarrassed to even bumped into him again, and I have this uncontrollable awkwardness that really shows when it comes to this sort of situation. Buduhhhhhhhhh! Yes me.. the buduh buduh nihh. urghh!I’m calling my self buduh because I texted him by saying indirectly .. yes, I have a crush on you..demmit.

Here goes my text to him (and don’t laugh guys! I bet you had those moments also you know) and since he’s having problem with receiving text messages, I’m not so sure if he got this.

“You know what ___, u look good. Not trying to do a cheesy line here but hey take it as a compliment. I guess it’s normal to have that crush on someone who holds a good conversation. But hey don’t worry .. I won’t bug you as I know that someone you met at the club remains at the club (I wonder why I’m doing a lame explanation). and  I’m not drunk, I hope I was drunk ..but am not..demmit (am I allowed to say that?). I dunno if this would reach you tho. Nite. “

(text messages sent at 2.22 am in the morning of 3rd January 2008.LMAO. He was at the same place with his other friends and do I need to mention that I was pretending I was ignoring him the whole night ~ It’s purely part of the shit you tend to do when you like someone.  )

Bad news:  he didn’t respond. *sighs*

It’s 2009!

Wishing everyone a superb 2009!

I’ve updated http://eleanorcornelia.blogspot.com

Cornn shall be updating photos for the blog. I only managed to snapped a few pictures that night.

Below are some ~

Again. Happy New Year everyone!

P/s: Alalala…makin meningkat sudah umur nihh. But look at the bright side. With age comes wisdom (which obviously I’m still lacking of). Weee!

Wachaa!

I’ve been practicing my Kungfu moves since the day I went to watch IpMan with my parents and bro on Christmas Day. Yeah..We went for movies on Christmas.. and it was all good! How actually did I practice my moves? One of it is by Kungfu-ing my brother..I’m just born to be a very bad lil’ sister.. If he haven’t wake up at 2pm and my mother has started her long episodes of scolding for about an hour trying to make him get up (which obviously fails everytime mum), this is where my KungFu takes place (I get irritated too you know)! and owh, did I tell you how cool IpMan is. Bruce Lee learns his moves from this man ok.

Let me brief you through the process.. I will start knocking the door like I have a warrant for a pusher’s arrest, I’ll use up my vocals (in high note) and start to fill the air with “wuiiiiiiii… bangunnnn lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!“, and the last thing would be standing in one foot, both hands in ‘the snake’ position and here comes the good part .. one foot kicking off his blanket and pillow, followed by “Wachaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”. I don’t really think he realized what happened since he only responded with “em ya ya.. jap lagi saya bangun..“. I was even doing the Bruce Lee impersonation just to get the kick out of things. Brother will eventually wake up and say “Psychoooo!”. Yay! Mission accomplished.

I have five big dogs (not breed ones mind you, just plain kampung ones.Hehe) and they actually bark a lot. And they hate the trash truck so much. You can hear them howling non-stop and it iritates me so much I had to go out, and repeatedly finding myself scolding these dogs (as if they understand me). I’m not crazy but I will be if they don’t stop barking like mad dogs every single day. This is also where I practice my Kungfu moves.. or as a pitcher in a Baseball game. I’ll grab those Japanese slippers (a.k.a Selipar Jepun..bear with me.. am trying to make things looks classy here), trying to scare off these dogs with my precise throwing abilities..but most of the time I’ll just hit the gates. I’m not that cruel you see. I just need anger management courses. Yikes. Did I or did I not just made a public announcement that I’m just a nutcrack? Owh well.

Singing Merry Christmas? Me?? You bet.

I was in a carol group just now (read:  I was forced to be part of the it but owh I enjoyed it though). ..but the worst part was that I was asked to be Santa Rina (read: pathetic!). The rest were so excited in dressing me up as Santa’s helper since last week, but I turned them down (read: I don’t care you see. I just don’t) and repeatedly told them “jangan kasi malu sy bah‘ (read: I’m not a good sport?LOL). So I end up borrowing my boss’s red belt, pulled out my white cotton dress and had to wear a black slack with it since the dress is wayy too short…. so not suitable for a hospital’s environment (whatever that means). At least I’m getting the theme colours right.. red and white is the way to go (who the hell created the existence of S.Rina by the way??). So I had another colleague of mine who eventually also became S.Rina and decided to just fit into her pullovers (I’m not sure how many Rinas they need)…but Yay! I was gay! (as in happy, not as in being homo).and owh, our radiographer was cool enough to be Santa Clause! Well I always admire someone who’s a good sport, unlike mua. Hahahahaha. but I still love myself.

We rehearsed for about half an hour before the actual presentation at First Floor Clinic and the wards at around 10.30am. We did 5 medleys namely Joy to The World, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful and Merry Christmas. Our GM joined us and she was very energetic I must say. Hehehe. Up until the second last verse of Merry Christmas, Clausey & Rinas went around shaking hands and giving small packets of cakes, sweets and chocolates to everyone there.. Some kids actually cried ~ I guess kids nowadays hate Clausey. LOL. I kiidd.

We finished everything around 12.30pm and evryone headed back to their departments…vocally and physically tired.

Never take someone for granted.

Yellowcard’s “Only One” made me felt a bit upset. I’m becoming more and more emotional nowadays and I’m hating it. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to the time where I can choose not to do or be attached to something that had brought me to this unbearable stage or phase. I kept blaming myself for choosing that particular road but I guess mistakes are unavoidable and what I can do is learn from it. I blame myself for not following my instincts, I know something is not right but I forced myself to think that it’s purely my own bad judgement. REGRETS. *sighs” let bygones be bygones. However, accepting and trying not to do the same mistakes again is not an easy job, it’s a lot tougher and there are times that you feel like giving up. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger they say.

Only 7 days to New Year and all I can hope is a better year ahead. Life is boring without the usual ups and downs and I ‘motivate’ myself by believing that everything happens for a reason. Some people are too caught up with the perks and kicks of life, and never do they realized that they have let go something very precious in life. I promised myself to never take someone for granted – like he did. You might wake up one day and realized that you’ve lost a diamond, because you were too busy collecting stones.  But hey, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be..and it was just a big relieve as I do not have to take that big step anymore.

All my Bells are Ringing!

Well, this might not seem to be the most suitable Christmas Song for everyone as it does not really portray the true meaning of Christmas..but I’m loving it still. So listen to the song and you would certainly agree!

All My Bells Are Ringing – By Lenka.

Mistletoe and holly
Deck the halls
But you
Don’t come around
And you don’t call

Well
It’s just
Like the season
To be lonely
And my heart
Is beating
For you only

Take my heart
This Christmas
And wrap it
In a ribbon
And a bow
Yes
Take my heart
This Christmas
Take it
Where ever you go

Everybody
Has someone to hold
Nestle by the fire
In from the cold

But I don’t hear
The carols
They are singing
And I’ve only
Got one thing good
For giving

So take my heart
This Christmas
And wrap it
In a ribbon
And a bow
Yes
Take my heart
This Christmas
Take it
Where ever you go

All my bells
Are ringing
Just for you
And I got
No desire
For someone new

So take my heart
This christmas
And wrap it
In a ribbon
And a bow

Yes
Take my heart
This Christmas
Take
Where ever you go
Take it
Where ever you go

Christmas is just around the corner.. I wish all Christians a wonderful 25th December!

Now… I need to sing this song to someone.. “Take my heart this Christmas..Wrap it in a Ribbon and a Bow..” Lalala.

This song made me happy!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arghhhhhhhhhhhh! Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssshhh!!!

That’s about it.