Could you do the thinking for me?

There are times that I wish I could just keep my eyes shut and the moment I open them, everything will turn out exactly as how I wanted it to be…but I know life is not that suhh-weet and easy. Am currently going through a phase where I am actually anxious of what is happening and going to happen in future. I do not want to sound as if I am exaggerating the whole situation (being a ‘drama queen’ is so not me). If I was ever caught creating some sort of commotion or being ‘extra dramatic’, it was all intentionally and perhaps, I was honestly just kidding (read: I’m covering up /saving my own ass but really…how a lame me can be so ‘exciting’?)

I am somewhat lost. Err.. I’m using the wrong word here…the correct word is ’stuck’..so let me rephrase that ~ I am somewhat ’stuck’, as I have a lot of things to put in mind and actions, but do not know where to start. Actually I do, but I’m just exultantly strutting and lazing around, ignoring the fact that I need to settle these things a.s.a.p. I feel like tapping the back of a random person, give him a list of things to complete and say “Could you do the thinking /job for me and come back once everything is perfectly done? I’ll bring you out for lunch in return ok?”. Possibly, I’ll just get that “are-you-crazy??” look. I am happy with the present transition that puts the bling back at all the right places. I am however not sure if I am ever ready to have that particular bling on my finger yet *rolling eyes*.

Being extra more cautious, I tend to be very, very particular with even the smallest and slightest matter…that resulted in me being extra more sensitive with hanky-panky issues. The emotional-stupidity shuttle has landed, with a big ego..and it may stay for a much longer period than I expect (commercial break: sudah ada ‘extra’, ada ‘more’ lagi. Apa punya Inggeris nih! Duh.)

To think back, I guess the thing I’m scared most about the present and future is…having responsibilities, fix commitments and the need to make decisions. I suck at making decisions. Seems like I always, always make the wrong ones. Maybe, it’s due to my lack of good judgment, the difficulty of differentiating what’s healthy and unhealthy for me. Silly eh…I’m becoming 24 years young this ‘09 and now only do I talk about it. lol. Owh well…How am I ever going to ‘grow up’ without accepting the fact that I need to ‘behave’? …though I know it’s as simple as reducing this and concentrating more on that (‘this’ & ‘that’ has yet to be determined).

P/s: and so I tell myself, having the usual exuberance is of no compromise. It’s just part of the whole process and a story where I will someday look back and never regretted doing… better off than not experiencing any.

**Photo below has no relation or whatsoever with this post. This was taken during Earth Hour (28/03/2009 9.17pm) when I stopped by at Waterfront. Quiksilver participated but Esprit didn’t. Drove around Likas, Luyang, Tjg Aru & KK to see how ‘caring’ our society is and the verdict …geez… most of us don’t really care.

My room is super-messy. I have cds, loads and loads of photos and albums, receipts, shoe boxes, printer manuals, coins and shirts lying here and there! (Astaga. Punya pemalas!). Didn’t manage to clear everything and get all the photos in order this past two, I mean three weeks so I dumped everything on the floor.. telling myself  “bisuk lah saya buat tu“.. my ‘bisuk‘ becoame ‘lusa‘ and ‘bisuk lusa‘. . and two weeks later… I still see my things lying on the same spot. Pathetic nih!

Mum came into the room telling me that one of my cuzzy’s his best friend died..:( Cuzzy got away but had several slashes and was admitted in the hospital. I was super-shocked to hear the news and first thing came into mind was what if I were in cuzzy’s shoe? (*touchwood*) .

Darnit. I just hope I cherish my friends well enough that I wouldn’t regret if anything happens! Palis-palis! The good thing is that I don’t take friends for granted (though I’m very bad at keeping contacts. Huhu) coz u never know when you will need them. Ihhh.. am going to check on my cuzzy.

Calling all FRIENDS!! Let us UNITE!! (Macam skinhead anthem pula saya nih.lol). Cheers mate!

Being all cheesy is…cute.

I wonder if I were a guy, will I ever be ‘brave’ (read: cheesy) enough to be using these pick-up lines on others…Hahaha! (and owh… the answer is yes…I did search the Net for these lines. but… No. I didn’t search for these so I can use them okayyy. Well maybe…but just for the sake of having a good laugh!)

Word of caution for the guys: You might either end up with a date if she gets your jokes (even the dirty ones) but if she has a trouble time understanding what the eff you’re mumbling to her…chances are you’ll get a hard slap in the face or worst, a kick in the ‘tutt’. Lmao!

However, personally I think pick up lines are cute! It’s a lot, lot funnier than having someone come up to you and started discussing about the whether!! Hey don’t lie…would you choose to discuss about the whether or start a conversation with a good laugh?? Lalalalala..:)

Tapiiiii…kadang-kadang bikin geli juga lah. Eeeeee!

1. I lost my virginity… can I have yours?

2. I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you.

3. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

4. Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.

5. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

6. Are you an Alien? [No, why?] Because you just abducted my heart.

7. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.

8. Hi, I’m throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine, and I need a stripper. Interested?

9. Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.

10. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

11. I have only three months to live. ..

12. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

13. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

14. How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?

15. The word of the day is LEGS, so let’s go to my house and spread the word.I may not be the best looking here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

16. How do you like your eggs in the morning? scrambled or fertilized?

17. My name is [your name], remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.

18. I noticed you have been checking me out the whole night so I decided to give you a chance to talk me.

19. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

20. Are you a gardener? ‘cos I want to put your tulips and my tulups together..

21. My love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in..

22. You’re last name should be Campbells, cus your mmmm… GOOD

23. If you were drugs, I would overdose.

24. If you were a guy, I’d be gay for you.

25. You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell all my friends that we did it anyway.

A combo of posts.

Gosh. Been disconnected for two weeks..haven’t had the chance to update ALF. I was too occupied with work and didn’t had the time to post anything. But but but, I did drafted my posts using my cell and only now am I able to transfer them to ALF.. just a short update for certain days as I couldn’t really recall on other happenings.

~ Slowness ~ March 26^th

Mua just reached home from badminton. My wrist hurts and part of my fingers hurt – probably I was not holding the racket the right way ~ I’m such an amateur but still, I had fun. As usual, I seem to lose my energy only after a mere 20 minutes of running back and forth, left to right. I can feel sweat running down my back and neck. It looked like somebody threw a bucket of water at me as I was sweating like crazy. To add, I have a very bad bruise on my left leg which contributed a lot to my slow performance (a lot slower from my usual slowness) since every single move I made was quite painful (sounds like I’m just giving excuses eh? lol. But really bahhh…).

~ Troublesome~ March 30^th

“Nine in the afternoon” ~ playing the song for a number of times while spending my lunch hour surfing the net and eating in front of the PC. My neck hurts for some reasons; possibly due to my sleeping position. I decided to update ALF while in the office since I couldn’t get online at home. (Honest explanation: my Internet connection was cut off. Hehe). Andy was supposed to go pay the monthly bill but guess he was too caught up at work. I could actually go and settle the bill but I’m way off budget…so I’ll just wait for bro to go. So there’s this thing call ‘online payment’…but sadly, both my bro & I didn’t activate our online accounts. Perhaps, we’re still being very old-skool.  We find excitement in queing at counters, sitting down for an hour  and discovering that the deposit machine suddenly turned offline after half an hour queing up. Boy, was that fun! (read: “siallll punya mesinnnnnn!” LOL)I actually had one before but I key-ed in the wrong password and was blocked ever since. Didn’t bother to unblock the thing…and look how troublesome it is for me now. So triple boo for me. Boo boo and boo.

Happy Happy Happy ~ 3rd April

Countdown to Cornelia’s birthday (her birthday falls on the 4th of April but since she won’t be available on the 4th, we decided to have the countdown)…and so the birthday girl came a bit late but since it’s your birthday, you’re then forgiven…bombarded with never-ending birthday wishes and gave her the tightest hug ever. Happy 24th Birthday Corn!

~ Alive & Kicking ~ 4^th April

(Morning – Afternoon) Saya berjalan jalan berpimpin tangan di 1Borneo bersama kekasihku. Yay. How ’skema’ does that sound? It sends shivers all over my body when I say it, but it was all good. I like the fact that some sentences conveyed in Malay sounds far more expressive than English itself. Seriously bah! Anyway, we went to have a look at the IBorneo IT Fair and we both fell in love with HP Compaq’s TX series and hey, we didn’t even cared to look for other stuffs. lol. Apaini!

(Evening) I went for Futsal practice with my colleagues …or should I refer them as my ‘team mates’, right after dinner  (started playing from 7.30 – 8.30pm). One of my colleagues managed to set up a team and included me in for the upcoming Futsal competition organized by our Hospital’s sports club. I worked out the proposal with our President where all rules and regulations are set up and was brought into the AGM for further discussion. Each team however will only consist of one male player. Reason being: Out of a 115 staffs, only 12% of them are males (I even gave you the exact percentage. Funny.). I’m in a female dominated workplace I must say.

The practice was fun but very, very tiring for me. I envied those who can actually play for one whole hour since I raised the white flag just after 30 minutes in the game and ends up sitting down beside the goal post (I call this act ‘restoration of energy’), while cheering the rest (clapping and boo-ing included.)

It’s ‘bring-your-daughter-to-work” day.

I’m currently in my BFs workplace.  It felt weird. It felt like ‘bring your daughter to work” day. Hahaha. But in a whole different level. He’s next to me spinning, and I’m using the PC like no one’s business. Hahaha. It bugs me that somehow it felt like I’m invading his space. Disturbing him while he’s at work but dia yang suruhhh! lol. It’s his birthday tommorow (Err.. I mean today since its actually 12.30am ~ March 19 ) so it wouldn’t hurt to at least ‘kawan’ him, right? It’s Wednesday (err.. Thursday) and BED is quite pack. Didn’t manage to see how the floor is cause I’m way way up sitting very kuai2 in the console. LOL. Wait till the BF returns to his crib and be suprised!

I need to end my post now as the BF is becoming very -the-busybody to see what I’m writing.Buhbye peeps.

Haaaaa—Chooooww! Waaakkkk–Tuhh!

“Haaaaa—Chooooww! Wakkkk–Tuhh!” (Disgusting eh? Kihkihkihkih.Yes. It’s exactly how it sounded.)

I’m not feeling that well. My throat hurts badly. Been sneezing and blowing my nose for the past two hours (I look terrible with all the stack of toilet rolls and tissues on my bed and a trash basket right beside me ~ not the best sight ever). Had 30 minutes of sleep immediately after I reached home, hoping that I would magically get better…but demmit…nothing subside. Took Panadol and some antibiotics I found in the fridge (which belongs to dady I think) and crawled back to bed… taking with me the notebookie on one hand, tissues on my right hand, alternately sneezing, updating ALF and browsing through Lomography.com (yes. Lomo. I wanttttt!)

Mumy keeps questioning on why I did not go and see the ENT Dr when it would only take me less than 5 minutes to have a simple checkup and prescriptions. Exact sentences ~ “Kau kerja hospital begitu dekat pun susah kah mau pegi jumpa DR?!” (say it using your highest voice pitch peeps)

Mumy, the fact that I work in a hospital does not changed the fact that I HATE to ‘see’ any Drs even when I’m terribly sick. And mumy, you know you ALWAYS had to do a series of scolding to get me into the Dr’s room? And mumy, you know very well it annoys me and irritates me so much to LISTEN to your “M16-like-scolding” that I need to force myself to let you bring me to the Dr? Owh yes mumy…you’re a good mum…(even if you treat me like I’m still your 14 year old daughter maybe due to my lack of responsibilities. ROTFL! ~ Sometimes I would want to remind you that I’m already reaching mid 20s. Haha!)

I’m hungry. ..now if only I can get mum or bro to ‘sauk‘ nasi for me. lol.

~ demm you shuckers ~

“Thanks Retard!” ~ A ‘wonderful’ way on how my brother conveys his ‘gratitude’ when I helped him with his ironing. Not bad eh. Being called a retard has been a norm but only when it comes out from my big bro. (Read: it doesn’t give permission for anyone to call me a retard though… I’ll just smack you. lol.)

I took a day off from work last Saturday and boy, was I glad I applied for the leave! I was becoming super-restless of all the ongoing tasks and usual office politics. I knew for a fact that these crappy things are just what the majority of us have to go through…every single day…and deal with people who don’t seem to mind their own business. I refuse to be part of the whole ‘drama’, but did not verbally demonstrate any form of rebellion. It’s just a matter of listening to these ‘I-don’t-even-know-whether-this-is-true’ stories and keeping my mouth shut ~ abstaining from spitting out any comments which might later backfire. Agreeing or disagreeing with this ‘non-of-our-business’ nonsense is of no benefit. Every now and then, I feel my throat itching to just simply utter “why do you need to care when it doesn’t have anything to do with you?”…but being the usual ‘whatever lahh’ nature, I voted to remain passive…repeatedly swallowed my saliva and tell myself “why do I need to care?”…besides, I am in no position to create such commotion. Possibly, that’s the reason why others who has the same view as I prefer to be in deaf and mute mode ~ things would eventually stay the same-as-fuck milieu. Gosh. Nobody’s to blame I suppose. It’s a matter of surviving and trying very hard to get your job done with all the irrelevant disruptions and despite the usual tension of being ‘never-good-enough’. To think back, it ‘helps’ in striving to improve oneself. I’m becoming very “optimistic” when deep down in heart … all I want to say is “damnn you suckers!”. lol.

Becoming all-tensed up for at least three times a week which leads to fluctuating emotions is never good. I pity the BF who gets all the scolding (when it obviously has nothing to do with him) due to the highly volatile and explosive mood that I occasionally suffer from. He gets all the scolding for simply asking “What’s wrong? How can I help?” when he sensed that I was acting way differently … and I meanly replied with “What do you mean what’s wrong?? I’m ok. There’s nothing wrong!!”. Luckily I have someone who relents; otherwise it would turn out to be a fight. Funny eh…and it’s not even PMS. Adui…I feel bad.

**(sighs)…received no calls / texts for the past 3 hours. Just don’t get electrocuted with all the leaking**

Being temperamental.

Two weeks since my last post. I’ve been very much occupied with my other-half (which I gladly refer to as my ‘obsesi’), which I didn’t expect I would encounter this fast. The ‘recovery’ period I stupidly had to go through for the past few months before things started to get a lil’ bit better, gave me that sick, sick perception that I would be in such distress for maybe at least a longer duration of time. I lost the ‘I-am-always-optimistic’ side of me when the fuckin’ door suddenly slammed me right on the face (trying hard to reduce the profanity peeps ~ am taking advice from SAKC). I knew for a fact that the door was already wrecked but insisted on fixing it ~ insisted on being ignorant until I got slammed… I should however thanked ‘obsesi’ for making me realized that things do change… when we least expect it.

I am feeling a bit down, which I know is very normal from time to time. I cannot work out why this is happening as for this past one month, life seems to hold a better picture of mua’s future. Something I can live up to. It however gets very hard when I can confidently assured myself that “this can work…everything cliques”.. but I’ll be telling myself “this is too good to be true.. he might just leave someday…so why bother” , faster than you can say Massachusetts.  It’s like giving this a chance but ruining the whole thing ~ thanks to me.

I was getting all temperamental – I guess he figured by now that he encountered a very complicated kind. Warm one moment by being all affectionate and full of devotion, and unexpectedly turned out to be morosely cold with unexplainable passiveness. I remembered flipping through the pages of a chinese horoscope book belonging to Girllyen where it was described in my year of the Ox that I may become warm / cold at times ~ now I see the logic in it.

My fault. my Bad. My mistake.

“No Substitute Love” – Estelle

I couldn’t agree more with Estelle.

You know who it is
Oh boy Oh boy
I`m not your substitute lover (said I`m not)
Said boy Oh boy I`m not your substitute lover

I know it would have been nice if i could have had your body
Knowing that everybody ain`t been with you
but you told me lies you made me give my heart away
but now I know the games you play
So I`m thru with you

Oh boy oh boy
I`m not your substitute lover oh no
said boy oh boy i`m not your substitute lover oh no

You know there’s gonna be a fight if these chicks keep calling you at night
I see that text your tryin` to hide see I know the truth
must be outta your mind you thought you`d never see the day
you thought I’d let a player play but I’ma upgrade you, listen boy

Oh boy oh boy
I’m not your substitute lover oh no
said boy oh boy I`m not your substitute lover oh no

See there’s not much you can say
He said he’s done changed and I finished today
Coz I can’t do it no more I will be there when you call
so you best to move on (move on)
because I couldn`t be your substitute anymore

Listen, I see you called my name like I`m
goin outta fashion
And turn around and act like nothin’ ain’t happen
Like nar nothin’s crackin

Only when you need a chick
Only when you think about dis hotness you get itch
Thats when you get the itch, baby, let me be your bitch
Boy,who you think is bad gal,naa take dis

Actin like a little boy play me like a decoy
you need to grow a couple boy
you ain’t bout nothin’ boy

Oh boy oh boy
I’m not your substitute lover oh no
said boy oh boy I`m not your substitute lover oh no

A lil’ bit more than 25. Weee!

I was tagged by SAKC to do “25 things about yourself” in FaceBook (and she actually tagged 25 FaceBookies in total)…But I decided to go for 50 instead (which you probably would care less about). Reason? Purely SELF-DISCOVERY! *hiccups*. Lmao. It’s purely a general list of things about me as I can get more complicated in real life.

1. Getting my driver’s license is no joke. I got a 16 out of 20 on the driving test (an average score) but had to undergo a re-test (twice mind you) on the hill part and a re-test on the parallel parking. I nearly gave up and I even thought I was destined not to pass!

2. I can get along or cope with anyone if I put my mind to it.

3. My blood type is B+. I just came to know this when I went for a blood donation drive last year (2008). I did my first blood test somewhere in 1999 and the lab told me I was type ‘O”! 9 years believing I’m ‘O’. Luckily my parents are ‘B’ and ‘O’, what would happen if I was suddenly told my blood group is ‘A’??
4. I FIND USING CAPITAL LETTERS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS ANNOYING!!! Lmao.

5. The movie “IT” (the one where there’s a serial killer dressed in a clown suit) scared me as a kid.

6. I have a scar on my forehead (near my hairline) from a fall I had when I was around 9 years old. I find it amusing to purposely roll down the stairs but that particular day made me realized that rolling down the stairs is not a sport. Ouch! (hmm.. that explains why I’m a bit err..krazi?lol)

7. I was involved in parliamentary debates for quite some time.

8. I am allergic to seafood and eggs. I get itchy and swollen all over. I, however, am not fussy about the type of food I eat. It’s the cleanliness that matters.

9. Some kids asked me if I was a virgin or non-virgin when I was 8 (the ones who were asking are also 8 year olds!) I didn’t know what they meant, and refused to respond, guessing that they would make fun of me if I answered. (and I still refuse to answer to this day…lol)

10. Yes to ‘Tomato Ketchup’. No to “Chilli’.

11. I’m fascinated with people who can hold a good conversation with me.

12. Trying as hard as I can, I could not keep a ‘normal’ sleeping schedule. It’s either too early or too late.

13. I prefer dark bitter chocolates. Dark Beryl’s is enough to help me switch into happy mode.

14. I use my hands a lot when I’m talking. Hahahaha.

15. There are things I can write about but not talk about.

16. I would want to be self-employed some day.

17. I proof-read my posts. I’m quite particular with stuff like ‘starting a word in Capital letter after a fullstop’, ‘correct spelling’, ‘inverted comas and exclamation marks in all the right places’ etc. I appreciate it when someone points out a mistake I did.

18. I’m a chronic-worrier. And I know people who have the similar attitude as I do.

19. I reached 63kg back in 2006. Presently, I’m merely 46kg. My BMI’s normal.

20. I hated going to school but I love studying… and never got tired of learning.

21. Although I can be very loud and talkative, I can be exceptionally quiet.

22. People keep telling me that I smile a lot. But…it’s a good thing I guess.

23. I laugh with, and at people a lot. I am probably going to hell for the laughing at people part. It’s obviously not a good thing.

24. I fall asleep very fast when things get really comfortable. He told me so.

25. Sharp tongue. Soft heart.

26. I like to sleep in a cold room with a lot of blankets and pillows, and my feet sticking out to release excess heat.

27. I like to sing when I’m driving.

28. I don’t have a good memory.

29. Vegans fascinate me…living your life without any meat consumption is wickedly…amazing! I tried being a Vegan (trying to follow my big bro’s footsteps) but the temptation was too much to handle. It only lasted for two days.

30. I despise people who have no respect for others.

31. Some people have trouble pronouncing my name. Typical: E-Lihh-Ah-Nor. US/UK pronunciation: Ehh-lerr-nor / Ehh-lehh-ner. Owh well… just call me Len you peeps.

32. I love taking random shots. Things and people are my favourite subjects… they excite me.

33. I like yellow gold better than white. Call me old-fashioned.

34. Colorful things electrify me but black is my all time favourite colour.

35. Mosquitoes love me. But I hate ‘em. Urghhhhhhhhh!

36. I’m a sucker for rock music…but still eclectic.

37. I still don’t understand the need to have a ‘straight-as-fuck’ hairstyle!

38. I get dehydrated very fast. I tend to drink gallons and gallons of water everyday…which explains why I go to the loo quite often…(too much information? Lol).

39. I still have notes/drawings from my kindergarten-days.

40. I firmly believe that everyone have watched porn at least once in their whole lifetime. (owh puhh-lease, just admit it will you!). Well at least IKEA catalogs or DIY stuffs are like porn to me.

41. I love to read! But it comes in waves.

42. I do not know how to cook but I love cleaning and tidying things up.

43. I wonder how Madonna will look when she reaches 70.

44. I had a huge fight with my brother once…and it’s all because of Monopoly (yes…the boardgame!)

45. I heart friends who accept you for just being you.

46. I don’t consider myself a religious person. Uh oh.

47. Pure cheese cakes rocks big time!

48. I want to slow down on smoking (far from quitting but it’s the effort that matters..hahaha..whatever that means).

49. I wish I was emotionally stronger.

50. I do things that make me unhappy if I’m able to make someone else happy.

I’m mad about “mad”.

Been playing “Mad” by NeYo for like more than 20x today…while driving, while working, while changing and while blogging.  A current addiction.So here goes the lyric (to which I’m currently singing to right this moment..lol)

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh…
Oh oh oh…

[Verse 1]

She’s starin’ at me,
I’m sittin’, wonderin’ what she’s thinkin’.
Mmmmm
Nobody’s talkin’,
‘Cause talkin’ just turns into screamin’.
Ohhh…
And now is I’m yellin’ over her,
She’s yellin’ over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
(And what’s even worse).
That we don’t even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for…

[Hook]

Nothin’
(Fighting for).
Nothin’
(Crying for).
Nothin’
(Whoahhh).
But we won’t let it go for
Nothin’
(No not for)
Nothin’.
This should be nothin’ to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby…

I know sometimes
It’s gonna rain…
But baby, can we make up now
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no…

[Verse 2]

And it gets me upset, girl
When you’re constantly accusing.
(Askin’ questions like you’ve already known).
We’re fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain’t the way that love is supposed to go).

Whoaaaaaaaaa…
[What happened to workin' it out].
We’ve falled into this place
Where you ain’t backin’ down
And I ain’t backin’ down.

So what the hell do we do now…
It’s all for…

[Hook]

Nothin’
(Fighting for).
Nothin’
(Crying for).
Nothin’
(Whoahhh).
But we won’t let it go for
Nothin’
(No not for)
Nothin’.
This should be nothin’ to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby…

I know sometimes
It’s gonna rain…
But baby, can we make up now
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no…

[Bridge]

Oh baby this love ain’t gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it’s gonna be.
We can’t fuss and we can’t fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we’re gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It’s gonna rain…
But baby, can we make up now
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don’t wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don’t want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no…

Random shots.

7th february 2009 – organized a Blood Donation Drive at the Hospital.You Can Save Lives!

(Cool huh..shot this while JC waited inside the car. Location: The Junction leading to Tanjung Aru and Putatan from Sutera Harbour route)

8th February 2009 – My one month old baby boy…My cousin’s actually. LOL. Shot by my 10 year old cousin..that explains why I have a half-head shot. lol.)

31st January 2009. Hehe. Drove to a friend’s house for a quick check. Left a note at her car “Ui ui ui..eleanor was here. oi budak.. pg mana oh?”.hahahahaha. I panicked that morning but I know she was allright. Lmao.

We were on our way back to Tamparuli when dady spotted sumthin’ different. A motorcyclist carrying his spare tyre by wearing it on his waist. lol. Good idea but looks kinda funny tho.

This shot was taken by Cornn..found it in the same batch as photos from the Retro Night. I wonder when did she took the picture.. possibly when I was driving her home ..Look at the person driving that Ninja. He’s like a lil’ shock..maybe asking himself “what is that girl doing??”

Bahasa Melayu saya sangat bagus. “Ada kick!” (Translation: Ada Sepakan!)

I got tagged by Veralyn Marcie a.k.a http://girllyen.blogspot.com

Let’s get this done a.s.a.p.  Lmao.

1. Copy Badge “2008 Cute’s Blogger Award” untuk diletakkan di blog anda:

2. Link atau ceritakan kembali siapa yg memberikan award ini kepada anda

Ayat tu bah punya skema.. “ceritakan kembali…..” Hahahahaha. Saudari yang telah memberikan penghargaan ini kepada saya ialah Saudari Veralyn Marcie atau panggilan manjanya Girl atau Lyen. Saya sungguh berbesar hati kerana diberi penghargaan sebegini rupa. Walaubagaimanapun, saya amatlah berbesar hati sekiranya penghargaan yang diberikan adalah berupa wang tunai atau hamper. *ketawa berdekah dekah*

3. Setiap blogger hendaklah menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum pemenang seterusnya…. – ( 5 Fact & 5 Hobbies )

5 Facts

1. I laugh very loud. (Translation: Saya ketawa sangat kuat)
   
2. I work really hard. (Translation: Saya berkerja dengan keras)
   
3. I value my friendship & my family. (Translation: Saya menghargai sahabat dan keluarga saya)
   
4. I’m addicted to eating tuhau. (Saya sangat ketagih memakan ‘tuhau’)
   
5. I procrastinate a lot. A lot.  (Saya banyak kali menangguh nangguhkan kerja. Banyak kali)

5 Hobbies:

1. Reading (Translation: membaca)
   
2. Purposely irritate my brother ~ to the max. (Translation: Dengan sengajanya menjengkelkan abang saya. Ke tahap yang maksimum)
   
3. Cleaning. (Cleaning my car is an exception. Especially when its raining season. Headache! Urghh!) (Translation: Membersihkan kereta adalah satu pengecualian. Terutama sekali sewaktu musim hujan. Sakit kepala saya! Ahhh!)
   
4. Collecting stamps (Translation: Ini adalah pembohongan semata-mata.)
5. Tidur (Translation: Bangun dengan bersemangat untuk pergi kerja adalah hobi kegemaran saya)
   

4. Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award seterusnya dan menyertakan nama mereka di blog anda.

Alamak. Ini adalah suatu yang sangat susah dilakukan kerana saya hanya mempunyai segelintir sekutu-sekutu yang punya blog. Oleh sedemikian, saya tidak dapat meng’tagged’ sesiapa sebab semuanya telah di tag si Veralyn Marcie.

P/S:  Kindly give me something in English next time.

Saya rasa diri saya telah menghancurkan pengunaan suku kata Bahasa Melayu.

Thanks Girl!! hahahaha.

Stop with “I Like..”..Start with “I Hate..”

Having a series of fluctuating emotions recently..I suddenly had enough of “I like..”.. I have a lot of “I hate..” right this moment. Maybe I’m just having a bad day..worse..a terrible-day. Blame it on my PMS.. I’m one angry chick and I couldn’t figure out why am I so fcuked-up today. Tried to kept myself busy by arranging photos I’ve developed and printed (been lying there for several days..had no time to properly get them organized)  ~ I need to get myself a new photo-alb though. I’ve finally got the guts to burn and throw away the most “valued” (now it’s more like bullshit) photos I’ve been keeping for the last 4 years. Looking at it makes me want to vommit blood. I hate.

Maybe I need some anger management courses. Usually those dainty and lovable chicks will  say something like ” I like..this. I Like…that”. So mua, the furious and infuriated chick will have a list of  “I hate(s)…”

I, Eleanor…

1. Hate it when I really like somebody but that somebody keeps mentioning about their past relationship..even after I repetitively told that somebody that I’m NOT INTERESTED to know. Maybe ’sharing is caring’? But for this case, I get annoyed. Really really annoyed. Get it??
2. Hate it when some people tend to judge you when they don’t even know you. Stupid.
3. Hate it when you try really hard to care for the feelings of others but they totally ignore how you feel. Selfish bastards *hiccup*.
4. Hate being messy.
5. Hate it when some people takes sarcasm to a stupid-ignorant level. Ass.
6. Hate it when I discovered that I ran out of toilet rolls. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
7. Hate it when I’m stuck in traffic and the driver in the car just beside me starts waving and flirting. Perverts.
8. Hate it when I thought I’ve snapped a superb-picture but later discovered the camera is set to video mode.
9. Hate it when you’re two sentences away from finishing up your report and suddenly the computer shuts down. You haven’t saved a thing. Fcukkkk!!!

list will be updated.

Above all those hates…I am actually liking something. Someone.

and I pissed him off as well…”We don’t want anyone or anything ending up in flames..so just let it go.”

Yes. Let it go Eleanor. Let it fcukin go.

Thanks …Cupid.

~ I cried with jealousy. lmao. ~

I was supposed to join Girl and the rest of my hot-buds (Corn, Inden, Derrick, Ben & Yeye) for an outdoor session at Girl’s house in Telipok..but but but something came up..my uncle called to inform that Popo wants us all back in Tamparuli  for an early Chapgohmei family gathering lunch (Feb 8). I was a bit dissapointed though as I was looking forward to join my buddies that day but decided that Popo might not be happy if we didn’t go. Texted Girl to inform “Saya cancialll..tidak dapat datang oh” .I sighed and sighed and sighed. but owh well..there’s always next time.

Mumy was called to do OT and brother already had plans to go somewhere else. So I drove back to Tamparuli with dad sitting at the passenger seat halfway asleep. He woke up midway and started to give me few tips on driving. I was going >90km/ph and dady was repetitively asking me to slow down. There were very few cars on the road..the reason why I stepped on the accelerator a bit more…but slowed down as requested. Dad & I reached around 12pm and stayed on until 5pm. There were a lot of people, and each and everyone of them is my relative (according to infos by aunties and uncles ~ they were telling me how all of us were somehow connected, but being the usual me.. I don’t really remember how ..weak memory, I admit).. 60% of them are those I’m not familiar with; it’s like passing by a stranger during my Gaya Street walk on an early Sunday morning.

I had few drinks and I was sweating like no one’s business. I wasn’t drunk I guess but was damn sleepy. Went up to my cousin’s room to have a rest while texting that somebody.. Owh..I am so going to cut down on my beer intake.

~ Thanks Cupid. I’m gay. (as in happy.)~

Some things just happened..when you least expect it to take place… then it all comes in gradually..the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach, a sudden-beaming face and the irrepressible heartbeats, but minus the sweating palms. It felt good. It felt nice. It felt super-fine. But but but..it seems too good to be true. Everything seems to go so fine, everything falls in place and the future seem so certain. It was all perfectly-secured.

The past was left unrevealed tho. FYI, I don’t even have the slightest intention to know about your past~  I never knew about it before, so why should I fuckin care about it now. It doesn’t make any difference ~ It would just hurt my self-esteem (which I have very little of when it comes to this kind of issues). Tend to compare myself with another, trying to live up to whatever standards that I am not supposed to care about just to make sure everything goes on smoothly..obviously being a fake somebody.

When sentiments and sensations slowly figures out that fragile space it needs to fill,  suspicions and uncertainties kicks in. It’s like having an angel on your right and a devil on your left shoulders – being constant and trustworthy is like impossible..but possible at the same time.

So I stopped at the highway. Specifically..We stopped. and I thanked Cupid. For all the right and wrong reasons.

Suka nya Hati ku ini ~ Lalala.

Date: 1st February 2009, Sunday (It’s February already.. January passed by so fast…)

Objective: Invited by Girl to a small BBQ gathering with the SHELL family.

Venue: Tanjung Lipas.. eh silap.. Tanjung Lipat, Likas. (Try saying “Tanjung Lipat Likas” laju2..Sounds like Tanjung Lipas..kan kan?? Maybe I’m just exxagerating..lol). FYI, It was my first time there since they opened the place to the public. I had some negative impression towards the place before coming there personally..i.e. ugly fugly, a lot of illegal immigrants & dirrrty. Honestly… I admit that.. I was wrong.. it was not that bad after all. It was a lil’ dirty on some part of the beach but maybe those rubbish drifted all the way from Pulau Gaya. The public toilets were well-maintained… supposedly to remain so as they are charging RM30 cents for each entry (same charges as the washrooms you go in at 1Borneo..besides the RM1 VIP toilets of course.Free for Platinums.)

No.of Peeps : Around 20 I guess ~ Including the kids. Wasn’t really counting. The only people I know was Girl & her boyfie Mark Dillon Garcia & Jeremy C. The rest were SHELL staffs who either came with their family, girlfriends or friends. Everyone was friendly and it gave you the feeling of being part of the ‘family’ too and not out of place. Hahaha. So..Hopefully someday they’ll recruit me into SHELL! (angan-angan nih)

Other happenings:

• The BBQ was more like a big ‘pembakaran terbuka‘ as the fire were going out of control! lol.
  
• I had few verbal-arguments with Harry (one of the SHELL staff) on how we should light up the fire, how to barbeque correctly etc (saya eksyen jah kunun2 tau padahal ndak mau kalah jah tu.lmao).. But both ended laughing like krazi.
  
• Calling Girl’s boyfriend ‘dear’ made her angry! Sikit dia mau tabak sy guna pisau. Tiba tiba dia sakit jiwa. Luckily I know some Kungfu-ing. Wachaaa! My advice: If you still want to live a bit longer, jangan cuba-cuba panggil boifren orang “dear”, especially boifren si Veralyn Marcie. It’s like digging your own grave.
  
• Chicken Wings & Sausages which looked like they were imported from Nigeria / Zimbabwe (no offence to both countries though).
  
• It was raining cats and dogs for a lil’ while so everyone stayed under shelter. I saw Girl’s thick Chinese Horoscopes in her bag, took it out (with permission) and started to flip through the pages trying to find The Ox! Jeremy rampas the book and started to cari Pork… Ok basically we now know what’s his year.
  
• Mark smiled a lot.  ‘dearrrr’… ehh..oopss.. Sorry! (immediately berlari menyelamatkan diri)
• I had FUN. I laughed and talked a lot (which both are obviously my greatest-passion in life). Hehe. Thanks Girl for the invite!

(Mua, Girl & her BF ~ Mark)

(Ini Tauke Ayam & Sosej PanggangYang Kureng Berjaya .LOL.)

(The ermm.. err.. Ayams yang hangus terbakars.)

P/S: Another BBQ coming up next week?

Date: 31^st January 2009, Saturday. (The last day of January 2009)

Right after a boring day at work, a few of us went straight to Iris’s house for lunch at Taman Permata. I was already feeling hungry while on my way to her house… We then had a superb lunch and I ate like a pig (still had my manners tho)! The great thing was when Iris took out bottles of Heineken right after we finished. Lol. She magically knew I need beers (just for the record, I ended finishing two small bottles) to compliment the terrific lunch. Having beers in a hot Saturday afternoon screams.. “Ada Kickk!!”. Haha. Then she slowly took out few glasses filled with sweet flavored jellies (couldn’t remember whether it was mango or pineapple, grape or raspberry?) and 3 containers of ice-cream! I had my purple coloured jelly mixed with Paddle-Pop ice cream and poured some fruit cocktails on top. Ta-daaa! It was fab-fab-fabulousity!!

P/s: Iris’s last day at work was on the 30th. We actually bought her a diamond & pearl necklace as her farewell gift.