~ demm you shuckers ~

“Thanks Retard!” ~ A ‘wonderful’ way on how my brother conveys his ‘gratitude’ when I helped him with his ironing. Not bad eh. Being called a retard has been a norm but only when it comes out from my big bro. (Read: it doesn’t give permission for anyone to call me a retard though… I’ll just smack you. lol.)

I took a day off from work last Saturday and boy, was I glad I applied for the leave! I was becoming super-restless of all the ongoing tasks and usual office politics. I knew for a fact that these crappy things are just what the majority of us have to go through…every single day…and deal with people who don’t seem to mind their own business. I refuse to be part of the whole ‘drama’, but did not verbally demonstrate any form of rebellion. It’s just a matter of listening to these ‘I-don’t-even-know-whether-this-is-true’ stories and keeping my mouth shut ~ abstaining from spitting out any comments which might later backfire. Agreeing or disagreeing with this ‘non-of-our-business’ nonsense is of no benefit. Every now and then, I feel my throat itching to just simply utter “why do you need to care when it doesn’t have anything to do with you?”…but being the usual ‘whatever lahh’ nature, I voted to remain passive…repeatedly swallowed my saliva and tell myself “why do I need to care?”…besides, I am in no position to create such commotion. Possibly, that’s the reason why others who has the same view as I prefer to be in deaf and mute mode ~ things would eventually stay the same-as-fuck milieu. Gosh. Nobody’s to blame I suppose. It’s a matter of surviving and trying very hard to get your job done with all the irrelevant disruptions and despite the usual tension of being ‘never-good-enough’. To think back, it ‘helps’ in striving to improve oneself. I’m becoming very “optimistic” when deep down in heart … all I want to say is “damnn you suckers!”. lol.

Becoming all-tensed up for at least three times a week which leads to fluctuating emotions is never good. I pity the BF who gets all the scolding (when it obviously has nothing to do with him) due to the highly volatile and explosive mood that I occasionally suffer from. He gets all the scolding for simply asking “What’s wrong? How can I help?” when he sensed that I was acting way differently … and I meanly replied with “What do you mean what’s wrong?? I’m ok. There’s nothing wrong!!”. Luckily I have someone who relents; otherwise it would turn out to be a fight. Funny eh…and it’s not even PMS. Adui…I feel bad.

**(sighs)…received no calls / texts for the past 3 hours. Just don’t get electrocuted with all the leaking**