Archive for March 5th, 2009
Being temperamental.
Two weeks since my last post. I’ve been very much occupied with my other-half (which I gladly refer to as my ‘obsesi’), which I didn’t expect I would encounter this fast. The ‘recovery’ period I stupidly had to go through for the past few months before things started to get a lil’ bit better, gave me that sick, sick perception that I would be in such distress for maybe at least a longer duration of time. I lost the ‘I-am-always-optimistic’ side of me when the fuckin’ door suddenly slammed me right on the face (trying hard to reduce the profanity peeps ~ am taking advice from SAKC). I knew for a fact that the door was already wrecked but insisted on fixing it ~ insisted on being ignorant until I got slammed… I should however thanked ‘obsesi’ for making me realized that things do change… when we least expect it.
I am feeling a bit down, which I know is very normal from time to time. I cannot work out why this is happening as for this past one month, life seems to hold a better picture of mua’s future. Something I can live up to. It however gets very hard when I can confidently assured myself that “this can work…everything cliques”.. but I’ll be telling myself “this is too good to be true.. he might just leave someday…so why bother” , faster than you can say Massachusetts. It’s like giving this a chance but ruining the whole thing ~ thanks to me.
I was getting all temperamental – I guess he figured by now that he encountered a very complicated kind. Warm one moment by being all affectionate and full of devotion, and unexpectedly turned out to be morosely cold with unexplainable passiveness. I remembered flipping through the pages of a chinese horoscope book belonging to Girllyen where it was described in my year of the Ox that I may become warm / cold at times ~ now I see the logic in it.
My fault. my Bad. My mistake.
