It stinked, it’s unfair but it happened. Urghhh!

I had trouble sleeping last night..and I was super lazy to come to work this morning. I was in blank mode. I was restless and did a lot of thinking until I couldn’t really focus a thing my boss asked me to finished. So I stared in front of my PC, chatted with my girlfriends and spilled everything out.

So he revealed everything (after weeks and months of persuasion) and told me I deserved better (honestly,what the fk?!). I’m now officially back to square one, single and dying very soon (kidding. I just need time for recovery). The fact that I have been wasting 4 years & 8 months of my life being his so called ‘nyawa’, added more to my destruction. Demmit. I’m not fully destroyed though but letting go is obviously the last thing I had on my mind. He was still with his ways, and stupid me for thinking that I can changed all that (No, i don’t really think I’m stupid. I’m actually a lot clever than most of the girls he ends up with who are all emm..err..crappy and *putting my fingers down my throat*. Lalalala. I was just using ’stupid’ as an expression’ not as in really referring to myself.). He did changed for maybe the years I spent close to him but once I came back from Sabah, our relationship started to crumble and I should have expect that. I never regretted coming back to KK and we came up with all this plans of being together. To think  back, boy, it was all crap.

Last night, he dropped the ultimate bomb right in the middle of my heart. It gave me this unbelievable heartache, I even thought I had a mild heart attack! Demmit. But yeah, if you want to talk about being loyal in three aspects: mind, heart and actions..I did my mistakes but I wouldn’t go for something that will break my relationship. I don’t really know if i was afraid of losing him or was it just because I am scared of moving out from a nearly 5 years relationship? The moment he admitted of having affairs behind my back, I was devastated but the weird thing was that I was able to let go.

Felt a bit silly as I know he reads my blogs every now and then but sorry ‘dear’, I’m really really mad at you but owh well, please do listen to All American Rejects ’s “Gives You hell” – just take it from a girl’s side. and I surely mean it. *wide grin*.

To my girlfriends, I needed that support and ui ui ui,  some Pina Colada this Saturday will help. Lets get out early and pay a visit to the airport. Hahaha.

For now, I’m going to feast my eyes with these shots. ooh La La.

L-R ; Alvin on Guitar, Dean on Keyboard, Jo on vocals, Cookie on vocals, JC on vocals, and Lee on Drums *fainted with a smile on the face*  ROTFL*

*sighs* ..isn’t he *sighs* sooo *sighs* _____ !! (even with only a snapshot of his head.LOL)

JC, Lee *sighs* & Art