It’s coming to an end.

What’s coming to an end? owh..the so called prosperous year of 2008, as some would refer it to be  (just because the number’8′ is there, obviously).  2008 is coming to an end in lest than a month, 21 days to be exact. I look forward to celebrating new year (read: partyy) but part of me still wants to remain in 2008? Leaving ‘08 means accepting the fact that I am getting older,  a supposed to be matured girl (or should I start calling myself a Woman?Uwh. wicked) and the pressure to set my life straight (read: grow up). Going to reach mid 20’s in another two years time, and I already start to feel I’m old. Duhh. For those who are well in your late 20’s and above, you might give me that ‘oh-puhh-lease’ look but hey, I bet you went through a similar self-depicting moment right? So hold your opinion for just one second and agree with me for once.

Was reading one of Cornn’s latest post on her self-discovery. It made me wonder. So, how much did I changed and was it all good? This will eventually create some guidelines for my 2009 New Year Resolutions. Maybe I need to perform a cleansing ritual to mark a brand new me. LOL. Does ‘cleansing’ your system with beers count? Kidding. Haha.

Work – I resigned from doing Sales for an international timber organization and started to work in a the PR & Marketing field which seems to be a lot more enjoyable. My first week in a new workplace is all about adjusting to the social environment and making friends and learning new stuffs are not that complicated so switching to a new job is fairly easy. However,  I prefer to observe and keep my loud mouth shut for most of the time as I realized that some people are just born to be plain conservatives, judgmental and I can clearly see the word ‘backstabber’ written on their forehead (read: hypocrites). Maybe it’s just a natural human reaction when they find themselves intimidated by another human being. Being loud and talkative sometimes pisses people off. It’s funny though. There are times I hope I win the Lotto, be an instant millionaire and will never need to work again.

Play - I’ve been partying a lot this year – the excessive intake, the inhalation and the lack of sleep has  contributed a lot to my aging process (very bad dark circles, chapped lips and drying skin) but I just can’t stop.  Give me another few years to slow things down (I might regret it by then though..oh well). I’ve dropped a massive 8 kilos. I weigh 53kg on January 2008 and to date, I weigh only 45kg. It’s not an accomplishment. Never go for crazy diets and such but  I suddenly lost my big appetite.  I like myself more when I was plump. At least I feel ‘cute’. LMAO. Now I sometimes feel like a walking skeleton. Being skinny made  my face shrink and I look super restless even when I managed to get 8 hours of sleep (two times a week that is). But hey, I feel lighter and a more energetic in a way. A riot grrrl would scream “who gives a fck! Love your boddyy!”

Love - Oh here comes the hard part. Once the year start with a booming January 01, 2009, I’ll just let go and struggle to build a brand new chapter with or without the need for a man by my side. blahblahblah. Been telling myself the same thing over and over again but will never learn how to. Putting too much hope on someone will eventually destroy you bit by bit. It did to me and I realized that blackmailing, whining, complaining, shouting, screaming, putting up a fight, crying, kicking, punching and destroying things will NOT make any difference – except giving you a bad throat, swollen eyes, and it does  involved a lot of cost (you may need to fix back the things you smash on the floor or throw on the wall. LOL)  Someone please give me a hard slap me in the face (ouch that would hurt but hopefully it would bring me back to my senses!).

Hmm.. I need to list down my resolutions (even if I know I won’t really get some of them going/done..but being as optimistic as I can, resolutions can at least get me back in the right track)