“But if I go to hell, well then I hope I burn well”
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 11, 2009
…from Cake’s The Roof is on Fire.
Spent the night going through my playlist and am gladly listing down songs which I strongly, strongly believe that everyone should at least listen once to (just… because.)~ in no particular order:
- The Drugs Don’t Work – The Verve (Fav. part of the song: The drugs don’t work, it just makes you worse)
- Shining Light- Ash (Ditto: A full on chemical reaction)
- Goodnight Goodnight – Hot Hot Heat (Ditto: you’re embarrassing me, you’re embarrassing me!)
- [Falling in Love at a] Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg (Ditto: I think that possibly that maybe I’m falling for you)
- You’ll Never Walk Alone – Liverpool’s Anthem Song (Ditto: Walk on, Walk On, with hope in your heart..)
- Use Somebody – Kings of Leon (Ditto: Come as lovers, undercovers, on the street)
- Fuck You – Lily Allen (Ditto: do you get the kick of being slow-minded?)
- Someday – The Strokes (Ditto: on top of this, I ain’t gonna understand)
- Walking with A Ghost – Tegan & Sara (Ditto: No matter which way you stay, you’re out of my mind)
- Don’t Look Back in Anger – Oasis (Ditto: So I start a revolution from my head)
- Lollipop – Mika (Ditto: Too much candy gonna rot your soul)
- Monster – Meg & Dia (Ditto: Love me, Love Me..that’s all I ask for)
- One Wish – Ray J (Ditto: If I had one wish, we’ll run away)
- Turning Japanese – Incubus (Ditto: I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so)
- America’s Suiteheart – Fall Out Boy (Ditto: I must confess, I’m in love with my own sins)
- I Will Buy You A New Life – Everclear (Ditto: I will buy you a new car, perfect shiny and blue)
- The Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice (Ditto: I can’t take my eyes off of you)
- La La Land – Demi Lovato (Ditto: Who said I can’t wear my dress with my converse?)
- The Roof is on Fire – Cake (Ditto: But if I go to hell, I hope I burn well!)
- Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen (Ditto: Anwhere the wind blows, It doesn’t really matter to me)
- Nobody Knows – Tony Rich Project (Ditto: I’m dying inside but nobody knows it but me)
- So I Fall Again – Phantom Planet (Ditto: but I know it’s something you can’t stop)
- Vulnerable – Secondhand Serenade (Ditto: Let’s pretend that we’re alone..)
- Hatin’ on the Club – Rihanna (Ditto: ohhh…. you got me hatin’ on the club)
But I’m all into what Mr. DJ burns for me! *doing the thumbs up + the dum dum song*
My faith is shaking. lala.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 10, 2009
I nearly got hit by a car! Stupid guy! I was about to cross the road (was about to have dinner at one of the shops in Gaya Street) when this jeep suddenly came right in front of me and parked on the road island! I didn’t even notice the car was coming. I stood there blankly for a minute before continued walking. The fucked up thing was the driver acted like nothing happened when he stepped out of the car…possibly he didn’t even notice that he nearly hit a person! Cilakak betul.
Man-United won the match against Man-City with a score of 2-0. Demmit . There goes my Ipod (since I was betting on a 3-1 score). Nevertheless, glory glory Man-U! (Though I’m more a YNWA fan.lol)
Owh well…Here’s the lyric from Miley Cyrus’s The Climb which I’ve been currently playing in my car.and singing along to. I like.
Landon Pigg’s Coffee Shop and Owl’s City Hello Seattle is however played over and over again at home – with subwoofer.
Miley Cyrus – The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what?s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
♥ ♥ ♥
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 4, 2009
The conversation I had with her this evening got me thinking…are men never to be trusted? Is it worthwhile to get your hopes that high on someone that you THOUGHT was the fcukin’ one…but ended-up to be a cheating d-head! (Humming the song by Kate Nash ~ with my annoying low tones) Her whole situation reminded me exactly how it felt when my previous relationship went from super-exhilarating to super-destructive. I was very glad mine ended even if during that point of time, it felt like a few missiles were launched and landed precisely on the spot where it hurt the most ~ a perfect bullsye! I ‘recovered’ by vomitting myself out of it (yes.pathetic.). I wasn’t being a good listener as I was trying to get her to understand things from my point of view which obviously supports her without much queries and putting all the fault on her other half; blame it on my previous fcuk-up past.
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” ~ is one of the most interesting piece I’ve ever read before, as it shows how men and women have diverse perceptions and views running through their minds…However..bear in mind that no two people are alike..regardless of their gender…but I believe that when it comes to cheaters, men and women have a lot in common. The longer you are in a relationship with someone, the more you understand their habits and attitudes. Any slight changes in behavior (for both sexes) can be easily detected and you may perceive them as signs of cheating. I might be a strong believer in logics and relevancy as all reasonable explanantions must first be made using the mind… but if you still have a gut feeling that something is still awfully twisted, there are times where you shouldn’t be ignoring those ’signs’ as your heart knows better.
I don’t have any good ‘advices’ to give you my dear friend, as I am a failure myself…
….but fret not, I’ll be here to listen and even cry with ya 
( Could we just fly away and never come back?)
♥ Love hurts. Love sucks. Most of the time. ♥
P/s: VBF came to the rescue! Hoorahhh!
just… nothing.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 4, 2009
Finished watching I Am Legend (owh yes. I am very, very outdated) and the movie … is scary! Decided to watch the movie with mum and dad but they went off to bed before the movie ended. I guess they weren’t interested to watch a movie where there is only a guy and a dog running around a destroyed New York. lol. Dad would prefer watching kung-fu movies while Mum will stick to her ‘gua kanget bangat sama dong‘ and ‘em haiya ma‘ episodes. Brother was no where to be found..he didn’t even bother pick-up his phone. So typical of him. His journey to the ‘rombengans’ was obviously diverted to another location I persume (jengjengjeng).
Am off to bed. It’s 1.37am in the morning and I want a pack of Ribena!
**Was smiling to myself when I read the message ~ you accepted with exclamation marks?? lol. Silly us but thanks okay?
I’m sick…
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 2, 2009
but I couldn’t sleep . . and feel very uncomfortable lying down.
So I wrapped myself with my blanket and eventually wasted my time doing this while waiting for his replies. *sighs*
Doing it the Black Sabbath Style!
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: May 2, 2009
I’m still quite full with the pizzaz I had just now with JC and Jem, but the drumsticks I saw on the kitchen table looks very tempting. I was eye-ing it a few times while on my way to the fridge but repetitively telling myself not to eat this late (fyi, it’s 12.08am in the morning). I’m starting to have a big appetite recently and it scares me! Would I want to go back to the time when I was nearly twice of the figure I weigh now? Owh no. I can’t barely run one full round of a badminton court during those ‘heavy’ days! But but but…I’m happy to gain an extra 3 kilos though. Hooray!
Amri came down from KL the other day for a gig in Keningau and I was so surprised to see that he at least dropped around 15kilos as well. He was a bit chubby the last time I met him and now he’s sooo skinny. We were sharing our ‘views’ and yes, I can understand how hard for him to actually explain the reasons behind it; because there is none.
I ♥ my waffle.
~ The excessive singing I had while on our way back home last night made my throat felt worse! I was already having a sore throat this couple of days and with additional screaming to Rihanna’s ‘Hating on the Club’ but doing it the Black Sabbath style, made everything worse! Hopefully I would get better. I couldn’t be handling an event later with this voice. How I wish everything would turn out okay tomorrow *keeping my fingers crossed*.
and owh..before I go off to bed.. I just want to share something with all of ya…I ALREADY ATE THE DRUMSTICKS (tidak tahan bahh.lol)
New found hobby: Complaining.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: April 30, 2009
“Punya panas di luar!”. I sighed and sighed whenever I go for my usual trips to the main building; which is only a 100metre away from office…wasn’t because of the work, but purely because of the need to walk under the sun. Though I was using the umbrella~ella~ella~eh~eh, it still feels like my skin is burning from the heat. Pehh..Panas berabisss! The moment I stepped out the door, I was already making a lot of noise (read: non-stop mumbling). I know, I know..complaining will not in any way help coz I still need to drag myself to the other side *sighs.again*.
I don’t think she’s that stupid (tiba-tiba tukar cerita but ..oh well)..they might think she’s stupid but personally I don’t think she is! No one is stupid you see. There are only slow-learners, ignorant and heartless people (I even highlighted this part just to ’stress out’ my main point.hihihi) - but again, they are not stupid. Calling them ’stupid’ might only be an expression of telling how absent-minded and insensitive that particular person is…yet I wonder who came up with the word, and how they define what stupidity is? I use the word ’stupid’ very often (please forgive me and my vulgarity)… but I don’t really mean it in a way as if I am saying that they’re totally ‘brainless’! I am usually refering to the situation..and not directly at that somebody! In this case, she is a slow-learner..the ‘blur-blur’ type which really affects her performance and I am having problem to ‘talk and correct’ her as what’s being requested. Adui. I am so not good at correcting others (coz I’m not that purrr-fect either!)…but if she keeps doing the ‘blur-blur’ thing… she might need to leave… like really LEAVE. I wouldn’t want that to happen. Kasiannn nih..Ihh. dia ni pun satu..kenapa bah blur-blur tu..ada masalah mengkali?? Ihhhhh..bikin sakit kepala!
I mentioned about my aunt getting married in my previous post…and like all wedding receptions… it was so ‘meriah‘! I like! (doing the thumbs-up).Last but not least, here are some of the photos taken during the day (and like always…mesti lah ada gambar saya rasa kunun paling lawa lahhhh! (even if in real life bidak.Wakakakakak) Phewitt-ing to myself. lol ~ )
having problem to upload. will continue another day. 
P/s: It’s sad when u claimed to embrace ‘it’ yet u retaliate with ignorance. I hate. Case-closed.
That rusty old bridge.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: April 20, 2009
Another aunt of mine getting married next Saturday… so we had a short meeting yesterday evening to segregate some of the things to be done on my aunt’s big day…and so I was asked to be the usher for guests attending thier wedding reception. They’ll have a few camps set-up at my aunt’s house compound on that day where tables and chairs for guest shall be located. I’m just hoping that the weather would not be as hot as today (the walks I had to take from my office to the hospital seems… forever!) as I hate to be all sticky-icky.
Brother and I head back home directly after the meeting ended. We stopped by the bridge near the junction to my aunt’s house….the house just by the roadside (right in front of the bridge) is where my father spend his childhood before moving to KK during his younger years. House was left abandoned but was maintained to this day. Seems like the house is going to be renovated since a relative of us will soon be moving in. I can already see that they’ve installed a few air-conditioners. The area surrounding the house is quite dusty with pilings, steels and bricks since they are building a new bridge just beside the old one. Not sure if they are going to demolish the old rusty bridge. I hope they don’t…we don’t get to see this kind of bridge very often. The last time we actually came back to Topokon was possibly, 5 years ago! We managed to take a few shots before heading home.
It was half past 6pm and the day was getting dark. We took the long winding road from Topokon to Tamparuli and the road reminds me of ‘Initial D’! Not joking. I paused for a moment and was actually enjoying the snake-like road while brother drove the pick-up. Astaga. Bulih buat drift ni bahh tu jalan! I should bring JC here…Instead of going for CSF at Foh Sang or SNM at Lintas..let’s have a drive in Tuaran! (yang teda-teda nih!)
Could you do the thinking for me?
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: April 15, 2009
There are times that I wish I could just keep my eyes shut and the moment I open them, everything will turn out exactly as how I wanted it to be…but I know life is not that suhh-weet and easy. Am currently going through a phase where I am actually anxious of what is happening and going to happen in future. I do not want to sound as if I am exaggerating the whole situation (being a ‘drama queen’ is so not me). If I was ever caught creating some sort of commotion or being ‘extra dramatic’, it was all intentionally and perhaps, I was honestly just kidding (read: I’m covering up /saving my own ass but really…how a lame me can be so ‘exciting’?)
I am somewhat lost. Err.. I’m using the wrong word here…the correct word is ’stuck’..so let me rephrase that ~ I am somewhat ’stuck’, as I have a lot of things to put in mind and actions, but do not know where to start. Actually I do, but I’m just exultantly strutting and lazing around, ignoring the fact that I need to settle these things a.s.a.p. I feel like tapping the back of a random person, give him a list of things to complete and say “Could you do the thinking /job for me and come back once everything is perfectly done? I’ll bring you out for lunch in return ok?”. Possibly, I’ll just get that “are-you-crazy??” look. I am happy with the present transition that puts the bling back at all the right places. I am however not sure if I am ever ready to have that particular bling on my finger yet *rolling eyes*.
Being extra more cautious, I tend to be very, very particular with even the smallest and slightest matter…that resulted in me being extra more sensitive with hanky-panky issues. The emotional-stupidity shuttle has landed, with a big ego..and it may stay for a much longer period than I expect (commercial break: sudah ada ‘extra’, ada ‘more’ lagi. Apa punya Inggeris nih! Duh.)
To think back, I guess the thing I’m scared most about the present and future is…having responsibilities, fix commitments and the need to make decisions. I suck at making decisions. Seems like I always, always make the wrong ones. Maybe, it’s due to my lack of good judgment, the difficulty of differentiating what’s healthy and unhealthy for me. Silly eh…I’m becoming 24 years young this ‘09 and now only do I talk about it. lol. Owh well…How am I ever going to ‘grow up’ without accepting the fact that I need to ‘behave’? …though I know it’s as simple as reducing this and concentrating more on that (’this’ & ‘that’ has yet to be determined).
P/s: and so I tell myself, having the usual exuberance is of no compromise. It’s just part of the whole process and a story where I will someday look back and never regretted doing… better off than not experiencing any.
**Photo below has no relation or whatsoever with this post. This was taken during Earth Hour (28/03/2009 9.17pm) when I stopped by at Waterfront. Quiksilver participated but Esprit didn’t. Drove around Likas, Luyang, Tjg Aru & KK to see how ‘caring’ our society is and the verdict …geez… most of us don’t really care.
My room is super-messy. I have cds, loads and loads of photos and albums, receipts, shoe boxes, printer manuals, coins and shirts lying here and there! (Astaga. Punya pemalas!). Didn’t manage to clear everything and get all the photos in order this past two, I mean three weeks so I dumped everything on the floor.. telling myself “bisuk lah saya buat tu“.. my ‘bisuk‘ becoame ‘lusa‘ and ‘bisuk lusa‘. . and two weeks later… I still see my things lying on the same spot. Pathetic nih!
Mum came into the room telling me that one of my cuzzy’s his best friend died..:( Cuzzy got away but had several slashes and was admitted in the hospital. I was super-shocked to hear the news and first thing came into mind was what if I were in cuzzy’s shoe? (*touchwood*) .
Darnit. I just hope I cherish my friends well enough that I wouldn’t regret if anything happens! Palis-palis! The good thing is that I don’t take friends for granted (though I’m very bad at keeping contacts. Huhu) coz u never know when you will need them. Ihhh.. am going to check on my cuzzy.
Calling all FRIENDS!! Let us UNITE!! (Macam skinhead anthem pula saya nih.lol). Cheers mate!
Being all cheesy is…cute.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: April 14, 2009
I wonder if I were a guy, will I ever be ‘brave’ (read: cheesy) enough to be using these pick-up lines on others…Hahaha! (and owh… the answer is yes…I did search the Net for these lines. but… No. I didn’t search for these so I can use them okayyy. Well maybe…but just for the sake of having a good laugh!)
Word of caution for the guys: You might either end up with a date if she gets your jokes (even the dirty ones) but if she has a trouble time understanding what the eff you’re mumbling to her…chances are you’ll get a hard slap in the face or worst, a kick in the ‘tutt’. Lmao!
However, personally I think pick up lines are cute! It’s a lot, lot funnier than having someone come up to you and started discussing about the whether!! Hey don’t lie…would you choose to discuss about the whether or start a conversation with a good laugh?? Lalalalala..:)
Tapiiiii…kadang-kadang bikin geli juga lah. Eeeeee!
1. I lost my virginity… can I have yours?
2. I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you.
3. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
4. Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
6. Are you an Alien? [No, why?] Because you just abducted my heart.
7. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
8. Hi, I’m throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine, and I need a stripper. Interested?
9. Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.
10. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
11. I have only three months to live. ..
12. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
13. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
14. How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?
15. The word of the day is LEGS, so let’s go to my house and spread the word.I may not be the best looking here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
16. How do you like your eggs in the morning? scrambled or fertilized?
17. My name is [your name], remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
18. I noticed you have been checking me out the whole night so I decided to give you a chance to talk me.
19. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
20. Are you a gardener? ‘cos I want to put your tulips and my tulups together..
21. My love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in..
22. You’re last name should be Campbells, cus your mmmm… GOOD
23. If you were drugs, I would overdose.
24. If you were a guy, I’d be gay for you.
25. You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell all my friends that we did it anyway.
A combo of posts.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: April 7, 2009
Gosh. Been disconnected for two weeks..haven’t had the chance to update ALF. I was too occupied with work and didn’t had the time to post anything. But but but, I did drafted my posts using my cell and only now am I able to transfer them to ALF.. just a short update for certain days as I couldn’t really recall on other happenings.
~ Slowness ~ March 26th
Mua just reached home from badminton. My wrist hurts and part of my fingers hurt – probably I was not holding the racket the right way ~ I’m such an amateur but still, I had fun. As usual, I seem to lose my energy only after a mere 20 minutes of running back and forth, left to right. I can feel sweat running down my back and neck. It looked like somebody threw a bucket of water at me as I was sweating like crazy. To add, I have a very bad bruise on my left leg which contributed a lot to my slow performance (a lot slower from my usual slowness) since every single move I made was quite painful (sounds like I’m just giving excuses eh? lol. But really bahhh…).
~ Troublesome~ March 30th
“Nine in the afternoon” ~ playing the song for a number of times while spending my lunch hour surfing the net and eating in front of the PC. My neck hurts for some reasons; possibly due to my sleeping position. I decided to update ALF while in the office since I couldn’t get online at home. (Honest explanation: my Internet connection was cut off. Hehe). Andy was supposed to go pay the monthly bill but guess he was too caught up at work. I could actually go and settle the bill but I’m way off budget…so I’ll just wait for bro to go. So there’s this thing call ‘online payment’…but sadly, both my bro & I didn’t activate our online accounts. Perhaps, we’re still being very old-skool. We find excitement in queing at counters, sitting down for an hour and discovering that the deposit machine suddenly turned offline after half an hour queing up. Boy, was that fun! (read: “siallll punya mesinnnnnn!” LOL)I actually had one before but I key-ed in the wrong password and was blocked ever since. Didn’t bother to unblock the thing…and look how troublesome it is for me now. So triple boo for me. Boo boo and boo.
Happy Happy Happy ~ 3rd April
Countdown to Cornelia’s birthday (her birthday falls on the 4th of April but since she won’t be available on the 4th, we decided to have the countdown)…and so the birthday girl came a bit late but since it’s your birthday, you’re then forgiven…bombarded with never-ending birthday wishes and gave her the tightest hug ever. Happy 24th Birthday Corn!
~ Alive & Kicking ~ 4th April
(Morning – Afternoon) Saya berjalan jalan berpimpin tangan di 1Borneo bersama kekasihku. Yay. How ’skema’ does that sound? It sends shivers all over my body when I say it, but it was all good. I like the fact that some sentences conveyed in Malay sounds far more expressive than English itself. Seriously bah! Anyway, we went to have a look at the IBorneo IT Fair and we both fell in love with HP Compaq’s TX series and hey, we didn’t even cared to look for other stuffs. lol. Apaini!
(Evening) I went for Futsal practice with my colleagues …or should I refer them as my ‘team mates’, right after dinner (started playing from 7.30 – 8.30pm). One of my colleagues managed to set up a team and included me in for the upcoming Futsal competition organized by our Hospital’s sports club. I worked out the proposal with our President where all rules and regulations are set up and was brought into the AGM for further discussion. Each team however will only consist of one male player. Reason being: Out of a 115 staffs, only 12% of them are males (I even gave you the exact percentage. Funny.). I’m in a female dominated workplace I must say.
The practice was fun but very, very tiring for me. I envied those who can actually play for one whole hour since I raised the white flag just after 30 minutes in the game and ends up sitting down beside the goal post (I call this act ‘restoration of energy’), while cheering the rest (clapping and boo-ing included.)
It’s ‘bring-your-daughter-to-work” day.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: March 19, 2009
I’m currently in my BFs workplace. It felt weird. It felt like ‘bring your daughter to work” day. Hahaha. But in a whole different level. He’s next to me spinning, and I’m using the PC like no one’s business. Hahaha. It bugs me that somehow it felt like I’m invading his space. Disturbing him while he’s at work but dia yang suruhhh! lol. It’s his birthday tommorow (Err.. I mean today since its actually 12.30am ~ March 19 ) so it wouldn’t hurt to at least ‘kawan’ him, right? It’s Wednesday (err.. Thursday) and BED is quite pack. Didn’t manage to see how the floor is cause I’m way way up sitting very kuai2 in the console. LOL. Wait till the BF returns to his crib and be suprised!
I need to end my post now as the BF is becoming very -the-busybody to see what I’m writing.Buhbye peeps.
Haaaaa—Chooooww! Waaakkkk–Tuhh!
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: March 10, 2009
“Haaaaa—Chooooww! Wakkkk–Tuhh!” (Disgusting eh? Kihkihkihkih.Yes. It’s exactly how it sounded.)
I’m not feeling that well. My throat hurts badly. Been sneezing and blowing my nose for the past two hours (I look terrible with all the stack of toilet rolls and tissues on my bed and a trash basket right beside me ~ not the best sight ever). Had 30 minutes of sleep immediately after I reached home, hoping that I would magically get better…but demmit…nothing subside. Took Panadol and some antibiotics I found in the fridge (which belongs to dady I think) and crawled back to bed… taking with me the notebookie on one hand, tissues on my right hand, alternately sneezing, updating ALF and browsing through Lomography.com (yes. Lomo. I wanttttt!)
Mumy keeps questioning on why I did not go and see the ENT Dr when it would only take me less than 5 minutes to have a simple checkup and prescriptions. Exact sentences ~ “Kau kerja hospital begitu dekat pun susah kah mau pegi jumpa DR?!” (say it using your highest voice pitch peeps)
Mumy, the fact that I work in a hospital does not changed the fact that I HATE to ‘see’ any Drs even when I’m terribly sick. And mumy, you know you ALWAYS had to do a series of scolding to get me into the Dr’s room? And mumy, you know very well it annoys me and irritates me so much to LISTEN to your “M16-like-scolding” that I need to force myself to let you bring me to the Dr? Owh yes mumy…you’re a good mum…(even if you treat me like I’m still your 14 year old daughter maybe due to my lack of responsibilities. ROTFL! ~ Sometimes I would want to remind you that I’m already reaching mid 20s. Haha!)
I’m hungry. ..now if only I can get mum or bro to ‘sauk‘ nasi for me. lol.
~ demm you shuckers ~
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: March 9, 2009
“Thanks Retard!” ~ A ‘wonderful’ way on how my brother conveys his ‘gratitude’ when I helped him with his ironing. Not bad eh. Being called a retard has been a norm but only when it comes out from my big bro. (Read: it doesn’t give permission for anyone to call me a retard though… I’ll just smack you. lol.)
I took a day off from work last Saturday and boy, was I glad I applied for the leave! I was becoming super-restless of all the ongoing tasks and usual office politics. I knew for a fact that these crappy things are just what the majority of us have to go through…every single day…and deal with people who don’t seem to mind their own business. I refuse to be part of the whole ‘drama’, but did not verbally demonstrate any form of rebellion. It’s just a matter of listening to these ‘I-don’t-even-know-whether-this-is-true’ stories and keeping my mouth shut ~ abstaining from spitting out any comments which might later backfire. Agreeing or disagreeing with this ‘non-of-our-business’ nonsense is of no benefit. Every now and then, I feel my throat itching to just simply utter “why do you need to care when it doesn’t have anything to do with you?”…but being the usual ‘whatever lahh’ nature, I voted to remain passive…repeatedly swallowed my saliva and tell myself “why do I need to care?”…besides, I am in no position to create such commotion. Possibly, that’s the reason why others who has the same view as I prefer to be in deaf and mute mode ~ things would eventually stay the same-as-fuck milieu. Gosh. Nobody’s to blame I suppose. It’s a matter of surviving and trying very hard to get your job done with all the irrelevant disruptions and despite the usual tension of being ‘never-good-enough’. To think back, it ‘helps’ in striving to improve oneself. I’m becoming very “optimistic” when deep down in heart … all I want to say is “damnn you suckers!”. lol.
Becoming all-tensed up for at least three times a week which leads to fluctuating emotions is never good. I pity the BF who gets all the scolding (when it obviously has nothing to do with him) due to the highly volatile and explosive mood that I occasionally suffer from. He gets all the scolding for simply asking “What’s wrong? How can I help?” when he sensed that I was acting way differently … and I meanly replied with “What do you mean what’s wrong?? I’m ok. There’s nothing wrong!!”. Luckily I have someone who relents; otherwise it would turn out to be a fight. Funny eh…and it’s not even PMS. Adui…I feel bad.
**(sighs)…received no calls / texts for the past 3 hours. Just don’t get electrocuted with all the leaking**
Being temperamental.
Posted by: anarchylikeflower on: March 5, 2009
Two weeks since my last post. I’ve been very much occupied with my other-half (which I gladly refer to as my ‘obsesi’), which I didn’t expect I would encounter this fast. The ‘recovery’ period I stupidly had to go through for the past few months before things started to get a lil’ bit better, gave me that sick, sick perception that I would be in such distress for maybe at least a longer duration of time. I lost the ‘I-am-always-optimistic’ side of me when the fuckin’ door suddenly slammed me right on the face (trying hard to reduce the profanity peeps ~ am taking advice from SAKC). I knew for a fact that the door was already wrecked but insisted on fixing it ~ insisted on being ignorant until I got slammed… I should however thanked ‘obsesi’ for making me realized that things do change… when we least expect it.
I am feeling a bit down, which I know is very normal from time to time. I cannot work out why this is happening as for this past one month, life seems to hold a better picture of mua’s future. Something I can live up to. It however gets very hard when I can confidently assured myself that “this can work…everything cliques”.. but I’ll be telling myself “this is too good to be true.. he might just leave someday…so why bother” , faster than you can say Massachusetts. It’s like giving this a chance but ruining the whole thing ~ thanks to me.
I was getting all temperamental – I guess he figured by now that he encountered a very complicated kind. Warm one moment by being all affectionate and full of devotion, and unexpectedly turned out to be morosely cold with unexplainable passiveness. I remembered flipping through the pages of a chinese horoscope book belonging to Girllyen where it was described in my year of the Ox that I may become warm / cold at times ~ now I see the logic in it.
My fault. my Bad. My mistake.
Random. Fuzzy. Things.
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